var quotes=new Array()

//change the quotes if desired. Add/ delete additional quotes as desired.

quotes[0]="Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.<br><br>- Andre Gide"
quotes[1]="I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.<br><br>- Douglas Adams"
quotes[2]="I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.<br><br>- Tom Lehrer"
quotes[3]="It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!<br><br>- Friedrich Nietzsche"
quotes[4]="The power of accurate observation is often called cynicism by those who don't have it.<br><br>- George Bernard Shaw"
quotes[5]="Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.<br><br>- W. C. Fields"
quotes[6]="To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.<br><br>- Steven Wright"
quotes[7]="Write a profound saying and your name will live forever.<br><br>- anonymous"
quotes[8]="Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.<br><br>- Bertrand Russell"
quotes[9]="Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.<br><br>- Nick Diamos"
quotes[10]="No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it.<br><br>- Charles M. Schulz"
quotes[11]="One of the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.<br><br>- Bertrand Russell"
quotes[12]="People will buy anything that is one to a customer.<br><br>- Sinclair Lewis"
quotes[13]="If you believe everything you read, better not read.<br><br>- Japanese proverb"
quotes[14]="The important thing is not to stop questioning.<br><br>- Albert Einstein"
quotes[15]="Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.<br><br>- Voltaire"
quotes[16]="The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.<br><br>- Bertrand Russell"
quotes[17]="The quality of moral behaviour varies in inverse ratio to the number of human beings involved.<br><br>- Aldous Huxley"
quotes[18]="The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken"
quotes[19]="Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.<br><br>- Scott Adams"
quotes[20]="I bought some poison to kill some bugs, when I took off the cap I had to remove a tamper seal... is this to keep someone from putting something bad in there?<br><br>- John Aceti"
quotes[21]="Saying what we think gives a wider range of conversation than saying what we know.<br><br>- Cullen Hightower"
quotes[22]="Do you know on this one block you can buy croissants in five different places?? There's one store called Bonjour Croissant. It makes me want to go to Paris and open a store called Hello Toast.<br><br>- Fran Lebowitz"
quotes[23]="Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire them for their astuteness.<br><br>- Cullen Hightower"
quotes[24]="We learn from history that we do not learn from history.<br><br>- Georg Hegel"
quotes[25]="We may eventually come to realize that chastity is no more a virtue than malnutrition.<br><br>- Alex Comfort"
quotes[26]="Say what you have to say, not what you ought.<br><br>- Henry David Thoreau"
quotes[27]="One-half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.<br><br>- Josh Billings"
quotes[28]="Foolproof systems don't take into account the ingenuity of fools.<br><br>- Gene Brown"
quotes[29]="My guiding principle is this: Guilt is never to be doubted.<br><br>- Franz Kafka"
quotes[30]="Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.<br><br>- Oscar Wilde"
quotes[31]="Society produces rogues, and education makes one rogue cleverer than the other.<br><br>- Oscar Wilde"
quotes[32]="The clinching proof of my reasoning is that I will cut anyone who argues further into dogmeat.<br><br>- Sir Geoffery de Tourneville"
quotes[33]="There is something about a home aquarium which sets my teeth on edge the moment I see it. Why anyone would want to live with a small container of stagnant water populated by a half-dead guppy is beyond me.<br><br>- S.J. Perelman"
quotes[34]="Blessed are they who have nothing to say and cannot be persuaded to say it.<br><br>- James Russell Lowell"
quotes[35]="Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.<br><br>- Charles Lamb"
quotes[36]="Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead.<br><br>- Aldous Huxley"
quotes[37]="I worry that the person who thought up Muzak is busy thinking up something else.<br><br>- Lily Tomlin"
quotes[38]="Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.<br><br>- Henry David Thoreau"
quotes[39]="Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.<br><br>- Doug Larson"
quotes[40]="Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies.<br><br>- Honore de Balzac"
quotes[41]="My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.<br><br>- Henny Youngman"
quotes[42]="From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.<br><br>- Groucho Marx"
quotes[43]="I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.<br><br>- Groucho Marx"
quotes[44]="I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.<br><br>- Fred Allen"
quotes[45]="I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork.<br><br>- Irving Brecher"
quotes[46]="If to look truth in the face and not resent it when it's unpalatable, and take human nature as you find it... is to be cynical, then I suppose I'm a cynic.<br><br>- W. Somerset Maugham"
quotes[47]="What I give form to in daylight is only one per cent of what I have seen in darkness.<br><br>- M.C. Escher"
quotes[48]="Two roads diverged in a wood, and I... I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.<br><br>- Robert Frost"
quotes[49]="Dawn. When men of reason go to bed.<br><br>- Ambrose Bierce"
quotes[50]="It is better to deserve honours and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[51]="The nature of men and women - their essential nature - is so vile and despicable that if you were to portray a person as he really is, no one would believe you.<br><br>- W. Somerset Maugham"
quotes[52]="To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.<br><br>- Quentin Crisp"
quotes[53]="At eighteen our convictions are hills from which we look; at forty-five they are caves in which we hide.<br><br>- F. Scott Fitzgerald"
quotes[54]="Doing a thing well is often a waste of time.<br><br>- Robert Byrne"
quotes[55]="Most people seek after what they do not possess and are enslaved by the very things they want to acquire.<br><br>- Anwar El-Sadat"
quotes[56]="Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination.<br><br>- Christopher Isherwood"
quotes[57]="Ignorance is curable; idiocy is chronic.<br><br>- anonymous"
quotes[58]="To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.<br><br>- Voltaire"
quotes[59]="All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[60]="When a true genius appears in this world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.<br><br>- Jonathan Swift"
quotes[61]="Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe.<br><br>- Albert Einstein"
quotes[62]="While democracy must have its organizations and controls, its vital breath is individual liberty.<br><br>- Charles Evans Hughes, 1908 U.S. Supreme Court Justice"
quotes[63]="One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.<br><br>- Plato"
quotes[64]="A free society is a place where it's safe to be unpopular.<br><br>- Adlai Stevenson"
quotes[65]="One should respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny.<br><br>- Bertrand Russell"
quotes[66]="It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.<br><br>- Voltaire"
quotes[67]="To live outside the law you must be honest.<br><br>- Bob Dylan"
quotes[68]="Most people are willing to pay more to be amused than to be educated.<br><br>- anonymous"
quotes[69]="It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.<br><br>- Albert Einstein"
quotes[70]="Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.<br><br>- James Baldwin"
quotes[71]="My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.<br><br>- Socrates"
quotes[72]="The cynics are right nine times out of ten.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken"
quotes[73]="Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with surprising effectiveness. A genuinely unfashionable opinion is almost never given a fair hearing.<br><br>- George Orwell"
quotes[74]="If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.<br><br>- Anatole France"
quotes[75]="Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.<br><br>- C. G. Jung"
quotes[76]="The individual will always be a minority. If a man is in a minority of one, we lock him up.<br><br>- Oliver Wendell Holmes"
quotes[77]="That so few now dare to be eccentric, marks the chief danger of our time.<br><br>- John Stuart Mill"
quotes[78]="The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.<br><br>- John Kenneth Galbraith"
quotes[79]="I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.<br><br>- Katherine Cebrian"
quotes[80]="There's only one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him. If he says yes, you know he's a crook.<br><br>- Groucho Marx"
quotes[81]="Never do anything standing that you can do sitting, or anything sitting that you can do lying down.<br><br>- Chinese proverb"
quotes[82]="I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.<br><br>- Kurt Vonnegut"
quotes[83]="I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.<br><br>- Ashleigh Brilliant"
quotes[84]="The universe is not indifferent to intelligence, it is actively hostile to it.<br><br>- anonymous"
quotes[85]="It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.<br><br>- Arthur C. Clarke"
quotes[86]="You'll come to learn a great deal if you study the Insignificant in depth.<br><br>- Odysseus Elytis"
quotes[87]="The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.<br><br>- Bertrand Russell"
quotes[88]="No man is ever old enough to know better.<br><br>- Holbrook Jackson"
quotes[89]="Man cannot be uplifted; he must be seduced into virtue.<br><br>- Don Marquis"
quotes[90]="It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.<br><br>- Jerome K. Jerome"
quotes[91]="As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.<br><br>- Josh Billings"
quotes[92]="Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.<br><br>- R.D. Lang"
quotes[93]="Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.<br><br>- Nora Ephron"
quotes[94]="Prudent people are very happy; 'tis an exceeding fine thing, that's certain, but I was born without it, and shall retain to my day of Death the Humour of saying what I think.<br><br>- Mary Wortley Montagu"
quotes[95]="Philosophy is a study that lets us be unhappy more intelligently.<br><br>- anonymous"
quotes[96]="Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.<br><br>- Walter Kerr"
quotes[97]="Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.<br><br>- Ralph Waldo Emerson"
quotes[98]="Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[99]="Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.<br><br>- H. Jackson Brown, Jr."
quotes[100]="Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.<br><br>- Abraham Lincoln"
quotes[101]="Bluntness is a virtue.<br><br>- Allison Ling"
quotes[102]="It's good to shut up sometimes.<br><br>- Marcel Marceau"
quotes[103]="I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.<br><br>- Dave Barry"
quotes[104]="I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.<br><br>- Dudley Field Malone"
quotes[105]="A man never tells you anything until you contradict him.<br><br>- George Bernard Shaw"
quotes[106]="No one wants advice - only corroboration.<br><br>- John Steinbeck"
quotes[107]="I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.<br><br>- Milton Berle"
quotes[108]="In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer.<br><br>- Albert Camus"
quotes[109]="Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.<br><br>- Franklin Jones"
quotes[110]="The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.<br><br>- Milton Friedman"
quotes[111]="Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made.<br><br>- Otto von Bismarck"
quotes[112]="Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.<br><br>- Lily Tomlin"
quotes[113]="No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.<br><br>- Eleanor Roosevelt"
quotes[114]="Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.<br><br>- Ralph Waldo Emerson"
quotes[115]="In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.<br><br>- Robert Frost"
quotes[116]="Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks.<br><br>- Laura Swenson"
quotes[117]="Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.<br><br>- Oscar Wilde"
quotes[118]="The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.<br><br>- Socrates"
quotes[119]="Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.<br><br>- George Bernard Shaw"
quotes[120]="Eighty percent of success is showing up.<br><br>- Woody Allen"
quotes[121]="I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.<br><br>- Bill Cosby"
quotes[122]="If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.<br><br>- George Carlin"
quotes[123]="Hard work is for people short on talent.<br><br>- George Carlin"
quotes[124]="Where ideas are concerned, America can be counted on to do one of two things: take a good idea and run it completely into the ground, or take a bad idea and run it completely into the ground.<br><br>- George Carlin"
quotes[125]="I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.<br><br>- Rita Mae Brown"
quotes[126]="You can't use tact with a congressman. A congressman is a hog. You must take a stick and hit him on the snout.<br><br>- Henry Brooks Adams"
quotes[127]="Let us read and let us dance - two amusements that will never do any harm to the world.<br><br>- Voltaire"
quotes[128]="I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.<br><br>- Edith Sitwell"
quotes[129]="The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring in nature that it will last through a whole lifetime - if not asked to lend money.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[130]="The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.<br><br>- William Clayton"
quotes[131]="Always remember that the soundest way to progress in any organization is to help the person ahead of you get promoted.<br><br>- Richard S. Zera"
quotes[132]="Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.<br><br>- Doug Larson"
quotes[133]="The full potential of human fury cannot be reached until a friend of both parties tactfully intervenes.<br><br>- G.K. Chesterton"
quotes[134]="I sometimes give myself admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it.<br><br>- Mary Wortley Montagu"
quotes[135]="Admiration, noun. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.<br><br>- Ambrose Bierce"
quotes[136]="It's been my policy to view the Internet not as an 'information highway,' but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies.<br><br>- Mike Royko"
quotes[137]="America: The only country in the world where failing to promote yourself is regarded as being arrogant.<br><br>- Garry Trudeau"
quotes[138]="In walking, just walk. In sitting, just sit. Above all, don't wobble.<br><br>- Yun-men"
quotes[139]="I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.<br><br>- Rita Mae Brown"
quotes[140]="Being a philosopher, I have a problem for every solution.<br><br>- Robert Zend"
quotes[141]="Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality the cost becomes prohibitive.<br><br>- William F. Buckley, Jr."
quotes[142]="Human history is a race between education and catastrophe.<br><br>- H.G. Wells"
quotes[143]="Your worst humiliation is only someone else's momentary entertainment.<br><br>- Karen Crockett"
quotes[144]="When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything begins to look like a nail.<br><br>- Lofti Zadeh"
quotes[145]="Good sex is like good Bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.<br><br>- Mae West"
quotes[146]="Life is great, but the hours are hell.<br><br>- Gregory G. Parrish"
quotes[147]="Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.<br><br>- Andrew Young"
quotes[148]="It's almost impossible to overestimate the unimportance of most things.<br><br>- John Logue"
quotes[149]="People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest.<br><br>- Herman Hesse"
quotes[150]="To see what is in front of one's nose requires a constant struggle.<br><br>- George Orwell"
quotes[151]="There are some situations from which one can only escape by acting like a devil or a lunatic.<br><br>- George Orwell"
quotes[152]="Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.<br><br>- Ed Gardner"
quotes[153]="Better a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.<br><br>- Tom Waits"
quotes[154]="If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.<br><br>- George Bernard Shaw"
quotes[155]="If you have to keep reminding yourself of a thing, perhaps it isn't so.<br><br>- Christopher Morley"
quotes[156]="So long as men worship the Caesars and Napoleons, Caesars and Napoleons will duly rise and make them miserable.<br><br>- Aldous Huxley"
quotes[157]="I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn't like walking or carrying things.<br><br>- Lech Walesa"
quotes[158]="The great gift of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never even introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you.<br><br>- Kendall Hailey"
quotes[159]="Happiness is good health and a bad memory.<br><br>- Ingrid Bergman"
quotes[160]="You are not alone. We are all the same, all in this fragile skin, suffering the ugliness of simply being human, all prey to the same mortal dreads.<br><br>- Harlan Ellison"
quotes[161]="There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[162]="I went to the bank and went over my savings. I found out I have all the money that I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.<br><br>- Henny Youngman"
quotes[163]="Reality is frequently inaccurate.<br><br>- Douglas Adams"
quotes[164]="The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.<br><br>- Joseph Heller"
quotes[165]="Perhaps the only true dignity of man is his capacity to despise himself.<br><br>- George Santayana"
quotes[166]="I don't know. I don't care. And it doesn't make any difference.<br><br>- Jack Kerouac"
quotes[167]="We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine.<br><br>- Eduardo Galeano"
quotes[168]="Psychoanalysis makes quite simple people feel they're complex.<br><br>- S.N. Behrman"
quotes[169]="All my life, affection has been showered upon me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of it.<br><br>- George Bernard Shaw"
quotes[170]="Kill one man and you are a murderer. Kill millions and you are a conqueror. Kill all and you are a god.<br><br>- Jean Rostand"
quotes[171]="An optimist thinks this is the best of all worlds. A pessimist fears the same may be true.<br><br>- Doug Larson"
quotes[172]="Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.<br><br>- Douglas Adams"
quotes[173]="When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better.<br><br>- Malcolm S. Forbes"
quotes[174]="Getting out of bed in the morning is an act of false confidence.<br><br>- Jules Feiffer"
quotes[175]="If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.<br><br>- Dave Barry"
quotes[176]="It is only the poor who are forbidden to beg.<br><br>- Anatole France"
quotes[177]="I like trees because they seem more resigned to the way they have to live than other things do.<br><br>- Willa Cather"
quotes[178]="The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.<br><br>- Lily Tomlin"
quotes[179]="We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid again-and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[180]="Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage - management.<br><br>- Scott Adams"
quotes[181]="Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.<br><br>- Groucho Marx"
quotes[182]="There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.<br><br>- John Ciardi"
quotes[183]="When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[184]="The man who is brutally honest enjoys the brutality quite as much as the honesty. Possibly more.<br><br>- Richard J. Needham"
quotes[185]="The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, and a wise man knows whether or not to say it.<br><br>- Frank M. Garafola"
quotes[186]="If you've seen one redwood tree, you've seen them all.<br><br>- Ronald Reagan"
quotes[187]="I can sympathize with people's pains, but not with their pleasure. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness.<br><br>- Aldous Huxley"
quotes[188]="Peace of mind is that mental condition in which you have accepted the worst.<br><br>- Lin Yutang"
quotes[189]="Maybe this world is another planet's hell.<br><br>- Aldous Huxley"
quotes[190]="Is it because light travels faster than sound that some people appear bright until they speak?<br><br>- Renay Avila"
quotes[191]="Bores bore each other too, but it never seems to teach them anything.<br><br>- Don Marquis"
quotes[192]="A man prepared to tell the truth should keep one foot in the stirrup.<br><br>- Mongolian proverb"
quotes[193]="If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.<br><br>- Will Rogers"
quotes[194]="It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.<br><br>- Andre Gide"
quotes[195]="There are only two means by which men can deal with one another: guns or logic. Force or persuasion. Those who know that they cannot win by means of logic have always resorted to guns.<br><br> -Ayn Rand"
quotes[196]="There are two kinds of people who never amount to much: those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can do nothing else.<br><br>- anonymous"
quotes[197]="An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.<br><br>- Dylan Thomas"
quotes[198]="I only drink to make other people seem interesting.<br><br>- George Jean Nathan"
quotes[199]="Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home.<br><br>- David Frost"
quotes[200]="Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.<br><br>- Ernie Kovacs"
quotes[201]="I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.<br><br>- Neil Armstrong"
quotes[202]="The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent.<br><br>- Mel Lazarus"
quotes[203]="The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.<br><br>- Kin Hubbard"
quotes[204]="When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn't the slightest intention of putting it into practice.<br><br>- Otto von Bismarck"
quotes[205]="The world is divided into people who do things - and people who get the credit.<br><br>- Dwight Morrow"
quotes[206]="Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing.<br><br>- Voltaire"
quotes[207]="It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and superior impartiality.<br><br>- Arnold Bennett"
quotes[208]="Human war has been the most successful of our cultural traditions.<br><br>- Robert Ardrey"
quotes[209]="Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.<br><br>- Lily Tomlin"
quotes[210]="If you want to make enemies, try to change something.<br><br>- Woodrow Wilson"
quotes[211]="We enact many laws that manufacture criminals, and then a few that punish them.<br><br>- Allen Tucker"
quotes[212]="The dividing line [between friends and acquaintances] is communication, I think. A friend is someone to whom you can say any jackass thing that enters your mind. With acquaintances, you are forever aware of their slightly unreal image of you, and to keep them content, you edit yourself to fit. Many marriages are between acquaintances. You can be with a person for three hours of your life and have a friend. Another will remain an acquaintance for thirty years.<br><br>- John D. MacDonald"
quotes[213]="Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time.<br><br>- E. B. White"
quotes[214]="The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.<br><br>- Harriet Beecher Stowe"
quotes[215]="Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty; power is ever stealing from the many to the few.<br><br>- Wendell Phillips"
quotes[216]="Even before the agricultural revolution began in the Fertile Crescent about 10,000 years ago, humans had learned how to work with new technology. Those who could not or would not eventually became priests, politicians, and bureaucrats.<br><br>- G. Harry Stine"
quotes[217]="There is no country with a military so powerful, an economy so strong, and a culture so great that its politicians cannot pull it down.<br><br>- Dr. Donald Gilbert Carpenter"
quotes[218]="Animals can be driven crazy by placing too many in too small a pen. Homo sapiens is the only animal that voluntarily does this to himself.<br><br>- Robert Heinlein"
quotes[219]="Madness is rare in individuals--but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule.<br><br>- Friedrich Nietzsche"
quotes[220]="Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better.<br><br>- Laurie Anderson"
quotes[221]="Cats are smarter than dogs. You can not get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.<br><br>- Jeff Valdez"
quotes[222]="In heaven all the interesting people are missing.<br><br>- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche"
quotes[223]="It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper.<br><br>- Errol Flynn"
quotes[224]="No human thing is of serious importance.<br><br>- Plato"
quotes[225]="Power always has to be kept in check; power exercised in secret, especially under the cloak of national security, is doubly dangerous.<br><br>- William Proxmire"
quotes[226]="Living well is the best revenge.<br><br>- George Herbert"
quotes[227]="Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.<br><br>- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy 1981-1987"
quotes[228]="If at first you don't succeed, well, so much for skydiving.<br><br>- Victor O'Reilly"
quotes[229]="I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world, and do not find in our particular superstition (Christianity) one redeeming feature. They are all alike founded on fables and mythology.<br><br>- Thomas Jefferson"
quotes[230]="Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure.<br><br>- Bertrand Russell"
quotes[231]="No matter where or what, there are makers, takers, and fakers.<br><br>- Robert Heinlein"
quotes[232]="Ninety percent of the game is half mental.<br><br>- Yogi Berra"
quotes[233]="We are here on earth to do good for others. What the others are here for, I don't know.<br><br>- W. H. Auden"
quotes[234]="Every man I meet is in some way my superior.<br><br>- Ralph Waldo Emerson"
quotes[235]="No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God.<br><br>- George Bush, Sr."
quotes[236]="It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.<br><br>- Woody Allen" 
quotes[237]="Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who cannot remember where they left things.<br><br>- Woody Allen"
quotes[238]="In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.<br><br>- John Barrymore"
quotes[239]="Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.<br><br>- George Burns"
quotes[240]="Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.<br><br>- Arthur C. Clarke"
quotes[241]="When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.<br><br>- Albert Einstein"
quotes[242]="Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it.<br><br>- Lyndon B. Johnson"
quotes[243]="People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.<br><br>- Kierkegaard"
quotes[244]="The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.<br><br>- Willem de Kooning"
quotes[245]="Imagination grows by exercise, and contrary to common belief, is more powerful in the mature than in the young.<br><br>- W. Somerset Maugham"
quotes[246]="When we blindly adopt a religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons. We cease to grow.<br><br>- Anais Nin"
quotes[247]="There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.<br><br>- Bertrand Russell"
quotes[248]="War does not determine who is right - only who is left.<br><br>- Bertrand Russell"
quotes[249]="As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven, it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape.<br><br>- John Lancaster Spalding"
quotes[250]="Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[251]="It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees!<br><br>- Emiliano Zapata"
quotes[252]="The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along, paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.<br><br>- Gore Vidal"
quotes[253]="If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.<br><br>- Carl Sagan"
quotes[254]="When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.<br><br>- Franklin D. Roosevelt"
quotes[255]="Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.<br><br>- Will Rogers"
quotes[256]="I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.<br><br>- Dorothy Parker"
quotes[257]="When the president does it, that means it is not illegal.<br><br>- Richard Milhous Nixon"
quotes[258]="I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive.<br><br>- Henry Miller"
quotes[259]="All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'<br><br>- Mickey Lolich"
quotes[260]="I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.<br><br>- George McGovern"
quotes[261]="If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.<br><br>- Frank Lloyd Wright"
quotes[262]="People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.<br><br>- Abraham Lincoln"
quotes[263]="If there is anything that a man can do well, I say let him do it. Give him a chance.<br><br>- Abraham Lincoln"
quotes[264]="Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.<br><br>- John Fitzgerald Kennedy"
quotes[265]="If you can remember anything about the sixties, you weren't really there.<br><br>- Paul Kantner"
quotes[266]="An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come.<br><br>- Victor Hugo"
quotes[267]="Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in!<br><br>- H.R. Haldeman"
quotes[268]="Now there sits a man with an open mind. You can feel the draft from here.<br><br>- Groucho Marx"
quotes[269]="If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.<br><br>- John Kenneth Galbraith"
quotes[270]="There's no reason that goodness can't triumph over evil as long as the angels are more organized than the Mafia.<br><br>- Bill Shore"
quotes[271]="Life is like arriving late for a movie, having to figure out what was going on without bothering everybody with a lot of questions, and then being unexpectedly called away before you find out how it ends.<br><br>- Joseph Campbell"
quotes[272]="Never steal anything so small that you'll have to go to an unpleasant city jail for it instead of a minimum-security federal tennis prison.<br><br>- P.J. O'Rourke"
quotes[273]="Never give money to a preacher who has a better car than you do.<br><br>- anonymous"
quotes[274]="Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people.<br><br>- David Sarnoff"
quotes[275]="The introduction of religious passion into politics is the end of honest politics, and the introduction of politics into religion is the prostitution of true religion.<br><br>- Lord Hailsham"
quotes[276]="Our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time.<br><br>- Edward P. Tryon"
quotes[277]="It's silly to go on pretending that under the skin we are all brothers. The truth is more likely that under the skin we are all cannibals, assassins, traitors, liars, hypocrites, poltroons.<br><br>- Henry Miller"
quotes[278]="Life is not a spectacle or a feast; it is a predicament.<br><br>- George Santayana"
quotes[279]="Sanity is not truth. Sanity is conformity to what is socially expected.<br><br>- Robert Persig"
quotes[280]="If you feel like singing along, don't.<br><br>- James Taylor"
quotes[281]="Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.<br><br>- Henry Wheeler Shaw"
quotes[282]="The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion.<br><br>- Edmund Burke"
quotes[283]="Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.<br><br>- Libbie Fudim"
quotes[284]="Always look out for Number One and be careful not to step in Number Two.<br><br>- Rodney Dangerfield"
quotes[285]="Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.<br><br>- David Letterman"
quotes[286]="We don't know where the digital revolution is taking us, only that when we get there we will not have enough RAM.<br><br>- Dave Barry"
quotes[287]="Madness takes it toll. Please have exact change.<br><br>- anonymous"
quotes[288]="You can shoot the tiger, or stay out of his way, but you cannot pronounce him a vegetarian.<br><br>- Richard Mitchell"
quotes[289]="I had a terrific idea this morning, but I didn't like it.<br><br>- Samuel Goldwyn"
quotes[290]="In what is widely thought to be the largest leveraged buyout to date, Donald Trump announced that if everyone in the world will lend him all the money they have, he will buy everything they own.<br><br>- P.J. O'Rourke"
quotes[291]="I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.<br><br>- George W. Bush"
quotes[292]="An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, but management won't pay a penny for it.<br><br>- Gerald Weinberg"
quotes[293]="Beat your child once a day. If you don't know why, he does.<br><br>- Chinese proverb"
quotes[294]="The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven't changed in seventy or eighty years. Your body changes, but you don't change at all. And that, of course, causes great confusion.<br><br>- Doris Lessing"
quotes[295]="Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.<br><br>- Ann Landers"
quotes[296]="In some parts of the world, people still pray in the streets. In this country, they're called pedestrians.<br><br>- Gloria Pitzer"
quotes[297]="Few men have the virtue to withstand the highest bidder.<br><br>- George Washington"
quotes[298]="On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.<br><br>- Tom Lehrer"
quotes[299]="Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.<br><br>- Lane Olinghouse"
quotes[300]="The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.<br><br>- Paula Poundstone"
quotes[301]="You've got to pity the poor Democrats in Congress. Most of them are on record against capital punishment, since they naturally don't want to diminish their constituent base.<br><br>- Wes Pruden"
quotes[302]="Food is an important part of a balanced diet.<br><br>- Fran Lebowitz"
quotes[303]="You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.<br><br>- Drew Carey"
quotes[304]="Modern society is without any concept of dignity, worth, or regard. Today the only thing which sets one person apart from another is his or her degree of fame.<br><br>- P.J. O'Rourke"
quotes[305]="Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain.<br><br>- Mae West"
quotes[306]="The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed of lost airline luggage.<br><br>- Mark Russell"
quotes[307]="We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form.<br><br>- William R. Inge"
quotes[308]="There are two rules for success: 1) Never tell everything you know.<br><br>- Roger Lincoln"
quotes[309]="Walk softly and carry an armored tank division.<br><br>- Aaron Sorkin"
quotes[310]="Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to slide across the finish line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, and shouting GERONIMO!!!<br><br>- Bill McKenna"
quotes[311]="Large corporations welcome innovation and individualism in the same way the dinosaurs welcomed large meteors.<br><br>- Scott Adams"
quotes[312]="Time goes, you say? Ah, no! Alas, Time stays, we go.<br><br>- Austin Dobson"
quotes[313]="The older you get, the greater you were.<br><br>- Lee Grosscup"
quotes[314]="It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.<br><br>- Jerome K.Jerome"
quotes[315]="The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank.<br><br>- Dante Rossetti"
quotes[316]="Out of timber so crooked as that from which man is made nothing entirely straight can be built.<br><br>- Immanuel Kant"
quotes[317]="Never put anything on paper, my boy, and never trust a man with a small black moustache.<br><br>- P.G. Wodehouse"
quotes[318]="Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[319]="The whole world is about three drinks behind.<br><br>- Humphrey Bogart"
quotes[320]="It was a non-smoker who committed the first sin and brought death into the world and all our woe.<br><br>- Robert Lynd"
quotes[321]="Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.<br><br>- Steven Wright"
quotes[322]="Baldness may indicate masculinity but it diminishes one's opportunity of finding out.<br><br>- Cedric Hardwicke"
quotes[323]="I've become so cynical I think the cynics are faking it.<br><br>- Kevin G. Barkes"
quotes[324]="It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.<br><br>- Bill Clinton"
quotes[325]="There once was a time when all people believed in God and the church ruled. This time was called the Dark Ages.<br><br>- Richard Lederer"
quotes[326]="Bank failures are caused by depositors who don't deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement.<br><br>- Dan Quayle"
quotes[327]="Beautiful bodies and beautiful personalities rarely go together.<br><br>- Carl Jung"
quotes[328]="If the doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I'd type a little faster.<br><br>- Isaac Asimov"
quotes[329]="If enough ain't enough, too much probably won't be either.<br><br>- Heywood Williams"
quotes[330]="There is a gigantic difference between earning a great deal of money and being rich.<br><br>- Marlene Dietrich"
quotes[331]="Youth is a disease from which we all recover.<br><br>- Dorothy Fulheim"
quotes[332]="Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig, and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.<br><br>- Matt Groening"
quotes[333]="Pessimists have already begun to worry about what is going to replace automation.<br><br>- John Tudor"
quotes[334]="The follies a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.<br><br>- Helen Rowland"
quotes[335]="Better to be occasionally cheated than perpetually suspicious.<br><br>- B.C. Forbes"
quotes[336]="There's no sense in being precise when you don't even know what you're talking about.<br><br>- John von Neumann"
quotes[337]="Remember that everyone you meet loves something, is afraid of something, and has lost something.<br><br>- H. Jackson Brown, Jr."
quotes[338]="The average American has the attention span of a ferret on double espresso.<br><br>- Dennis Miller"
quotes[339]="It is totally impossible to be well dressed in cheap shoes.<br><br>- Hardy Amies"
quotes[340]="The vagabond, when rich, is called a tourist.<br><br>- Paul Richard"
quotes[341]="I don't have a drug problem, I have a police problem.<br><br>- Keith Richards"
quotes[342]="If you kill someone in Los Angeles, you're going to have to pay a really stiff fine.<br><br>- Jay Leno"
quotes[343]="A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform.<br><br>- Russell B. Long"
quotes[344]="The man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 30 has wasted 20 years of his life.<br><br>- Muhammad Ali"
quotes[345]="There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.<br><br>- Larry Kersten, PhD"
quotes[346]="The old parties are husks, with no real soul within either, divided on artificial lines, boss-ridden and privilege-controlled, each a jumble of incongruous elements, and neither daring to speak out wisely and fearlessly on what should be said on the vital issues of the day.<br><br>- Theodore Roosevelt"
quotes[347]="Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.<br><br>- M. Kathleen Casey"
quotes[348]="Son, in politics you've got to learn that overnight chicken shit can turn to chicken salad.<br><br>- Lyndon B. Johnson"
quotes[349]="Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.<br><br>- George Carlin"
quotes[350]="The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.<br><br>- T.S. Eliot"
quotes[351]="The first time I read the dictionary I thought it was a poem about everything.<br><br>- Steven Wright"
quotes[352]="A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you are in deep water.<br><br>- Sidney Goff"
quotes[353]="Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken"
quotes[354]="If you're going to kick authority in the teeth, you might as well use two feet.<br><br>- Keith Richards"
quotes[355]="I don't meet trouble halfway. It's quite capable of making the entire journey.<br><br>- Bob Edwards"
quotes[356]="Your friend is the man who knows all about you and still likes you.<br><br>- Elbert Hubbard"
quotes[357]="Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied you can exchange it for something you really like.<br><br>- Adrienne Gusoff"
quotes[358]="Some people like to eat octopus. Liberals, mostly.<br><br>- Russell Baker"
quotes[359]="The First Rule of Practicing Tax Law: If someone has to go to jail, make sure it's the client.<br><br>- Fred Drasner"
quotes[360]="There is no way of proving your point to someone whose income or position depends on believing the contrary.<br><br>- Sidney J. Harris"
quotes[361]="Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.<br><br>- Benjamin Franklin"
quotes[362]="Please don't ask me to relax. It's only the tension that is holding me together.<br><br>- Helen Murray"
quotes[363]="A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.<br><br>- Arnold H. Glasow"
quotes[364]="Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, especially if the goods are worthless.<br><br>- Sinclair Lewis"
quotes[365]="I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they're the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights!<br><br>- Warren G. Harding"
quotes[366]="A little government and a little luck are necessary in life; but only a fool trusts either of them.<br><br>- P.J. O'Rourke"
quotes[367]="The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.<br><br>- George F. Will"
quotes[368]="I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.<br><br>- George Burns"
quotes[369]="One has to look out for engineers - they begin with sewing machines and end up with the atomic bomb.<br><br>- Marcel Pagnol"
quotes[370]="The most persistent sound which reverberates through history is the beating of war drums.<br><br>- Arthur Koestler"
quotes[371]="I would consent to any great evil, to avoid a greater one.<br><br>- Abraham Lincoln"
quotes[372]="A diplomat is an honest man sent abroad to lie for his country.<br><br>- Will Rogers"
quotes[373]="The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.<br><br>- Doug Larson"
quotes[374]="I'm never going to be rich and powerful. I took an oath only to use my powers for good.<br><br>- Kevin G. Barkes"
quotes[375]="There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.<br><br>- Charles M. Schulz"
quotes[376]="You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.<br><br>- Walt Disney"
quotes[377]="There is nothing finer than the love of a good woman. But the love of two bad women is nothing to sneeze at.<br><br>- Lev L. Spiro"
quotes[378]="My husband said he needed more space, so I locked him outside.<br><br>- Roseanne Barr"
quotes[379]="I am at two with nature.<br><br>- Woody Allen"
quotes[380]="Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.<br><br>- Laurence J. Peter"
quotes[381]="It appears that my worst fears have been realized: we have made progress in everything yet nothing has changed.<br><br>- Derrick Bell"
quotes[382]="Perhaps host and guest is really the happiest relation for a father and son.<br><br>- Evelyn Waugh"
quotes[383]="Ask not what you can do for your country, for they are liable to tell you.<br><br>- Mark Steinbeck"
quotes[384]="Presbyterians believe they're predestined to have free will.<br><br>- Kevin G. Barkes"
quotes[385]="The attempt to silence a man is the greatest honor you can bestow on him. It means that you recognize his superiority to yourself.<br><br>- Joseph Sobran"
quotes[386]="The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.<br><br>- Gloria Leonard"
quotes[387]="When I think of the number of disagreeable people that I know who have gone to a better world, I am sure hell won't be so bad at all.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[388]="Since a politician never believes what he says, he is always astonished when others do.<br><br>- Charles de Gaulle"
quotes[389]="The contented person is never poor - the discontented is never rich. The quantum of wantum remains constant.<br><br>- Samuel Beckett"
quotes[390]="A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.<br><br>- Bob Dylan"
quotes[391]="You can't find the answers on the bottom of a whisky glass, but if you look hard enough you'll forget the questions.<br><br>- George Patterson"
quotes[392]="I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[393]="If a pretty picture and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.<br><br>- Larry Kersten, PhD"
quotes[394]="Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.<br><br>- Don Marquis"
quotes[395]="Domestic policy can only lose elections. Foreign policy can kill us.<br><br>- John F. Kennedy"
quotes[396]="She's the sort of woman who lives for others. You can tell the others by their hunted expression.<br><br>- C.S. Lewis"
quotes[397]="A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table... there's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.<br><br>- Garrison Keillor"
quotes[398]="Intelligence is the ability to avoid doing work, yet getting the work done.<br><br>- Linus Torvalds"
quotes[399]="Under current law, it is a crime for a private citizen to lie to a government official, but not for the government official to lie to the people.<br><br>- Donald M. Fraser"
quotes[400]="I get a nice safe feelingwhen I see a police car, and I realize I'm not driving around with a trunkful of cocaine.<br><br>- George Carlin"
quotes[401]="A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it.<br><br>- Israel Zangwill"
quotes[402]="Good people can't out-think evil, 'cause evil thinks of things good folks can't think of.<br><br>- Orson Scott Card"
quotes[403]="Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.<br><br>- Woody Allen"
quotes[404]="The less you mess around with people, the better off people are.<br><br>- Clint Eastwood"
quotes[405]="Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a lesbian.<br><br>- Fran Lebowitz"
quotes[406]="The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.<br><br>- Winston Churchill"
quotes[407]="Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.<br><br>- Benjamin Franklin"
quotes[408]="It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken"
quotes[409]="When your opponent is drowning, throw the son of a bitch an anvil.<br><br>- James Carville"
quotes[410]="If Casper is a Friendly Ghost, where did they bury the body of Casper the Friendly Dead Kid?<br><br>- Matt Groening"
quotes[411]="Washington, DC is 12 square miles bordered by reality.<br><br>- Andrew Johnson"
quotes[412]="I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.<br><br>- Andy Rooney"
quotes[413]="Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.<br><br>- Robert Frost"
quotes[414]="I do not object to people looking at their watches when I am speaking. But I strongly object when they start shaking them to make certain they are still going.<br><br>- William Norman Birkett"
quotes[415]="With me, it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.<br><br>- Woody Allen"
quotes[416]="But I also made it clear to [Vladimir Putin] that it's important to think beyond the old days of when we had the concept that if we blew each other up, the world would be safe.<br><br>- George W. Bush"
quotes[417]="To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.<br><br>- Earl Wilson"
quotes[418]="If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.<br><br>- Fran Lebowitz"
quotes[419]="The weaker the intellect, the stronger the belief.<br><br>- James Dee Richardson"
quotes[420]="If people behaved like governments, you'd call the cops.<br><br>- Kelvin Throop"
quotes[421]="The reality of any place is what its people remember of it.<br><br>- Charles Kuralt"
quotes[422]="Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.<br><br>- Juels Renard"
quotes[423]="When the outcome of a meeting is to have another meeting, it has been a lousy meeting.<br><br>- Herbert Hoover"
quotes[424]="This sucks so bad it bends light.<br><br>- Javier Henderson"
quotes[425]="What you cannot enforce, do not command.<br><br>- Socrates"
quotes[426]="Cleaning your house while the kids are still growing is like shoveling your walk while it's still snowing.<br><br>- Phyllis Diller"
quotes[427]="The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.<br><br>- Paul Valery"
quotes[428]="Bring in the guilty bastard. We'll give him a fair trial, and then we'll hang him.<br><br>- Judge Roy Bean"
quotes[429]="The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.<br><br>- Casey Stengel"
quotes[430]="All the public business in Congress now connects itself with intrigues, and there is great danger that the whole government will degenerate into a struggle of cabals.<br><br>- John Quincy Adams"
quotes[431]="Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the attractiveness of others.<br><br>- Oscar Wilde"
quotes[432]="Except for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex.<br><br>- Ellyn Mustard"
quotes[433]="There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror.<br><br>- Orson Welles"
quotes[434]="I get funnier looking every year and I'd like to think it's part of an overall plan to seize power instead of some pathetic aging problem.<br><br>- Scott Adams"
quotes[435]="If you want to say it with flowers, a single rose says 'I'm cheap!'<br><br>- Delta Burke"
quotes[436]="America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.<br><br>- Hunter S. Thompson"
quotes[437]="Insanity is relative. It depends on who has who locked in what cage.<br><br>- Ray Bradbury"
quotes[438]="From here on up, it's downhill all the way.<br><br>- David Farber"
quotes[439]="I used to go out exclusively with actresses and other female impersonators.<br><br>- Mort Sahl"
quotes[440]="Executives hate talking to employees because they always bring up a bunch of unresolvable issues. Salespeople just buy the executives lunch. It's no contest.<br><br>- Scott Adams"
quotes[441]="Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.<br><br>- Rita Mae Brown"
quotes[442]="There are but three events in a man's life: birth, life and death. He is not conscious of being born, he dies in pain, and he forgets to live.<br><br>- Jean de la Bruyere"
quotes[443]="Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.<br><br>- Terry Pratchett"
quotes[444]="Spring is nature's way of saying 'Let's party!'<br><br>- Robin Williams"
quotes[445]="My fate cannot be mastered; it can only be collaborated with and thereby to some extent, directed. Nor am I the captain of my soul; I am only its noisiest passenger.<br><br>- Aldous Huxley"
quotes[446]="A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.<br><br>- Albert Einstein"
quotes[447]="Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other sins are invented nonsense.<br><br>- Robert A. Heinlein"
quotes[448]="A conservative is someone who demands a square deal for the rich.<br><br>- David Frost"
quotes[449]="The usual trade and commerce is cheating all round by consent.<br><br>- Thomas Fuller"
quotes[450]="An employee with nothing to hide may well be an employee with nothing to offer.<br><br>- Robert Ellis Smith"
quotes[451]="Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver. Finishing second in politics gets you oblivion.<br><br>- Richard M. Nixon"
quotes[452]="A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.<br><br>- Ella Harris"
quotes[453]="When I give food to the poor they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food they call me a communist.<br><br>- Helder Camara"
quotes[454]="We are in danger of developing a cult of the Common Man, which means a cult of mediocrity.<br><br>- Herbert Hoover"
quotes[455]="Real charity doesn't care if it's tax-deductible or not.<br><br>- Dan Bennett"
quotes[456]="As terrible as it was, 9-11 did not repeal the Constitution.<br><br>- Judge Rosemary Pooler"
quotes[457]="We've upped our standards. Up yours.<br><br>- Pat  Paulsen<br>Presidential campaign slogan"
quotes[458]="We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty.<br><br>- Edward R. Murrow"
quotes[459]="Never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence. Think about it. People aren't out to get you, they're just stupid.<br><br>- Jane Espenson"
quotes[460]="Most people like hard work. Particularly when they are paying for it.<br><br>- Franklin P. Jones"
quotes[461]="The political arena leaves one no alternative; one must either be a dunce or a rogue.<br><br>- Emma Goldman"
quotes[462]="The pride of dying rich raises the loudest laugh in hell.<br><br>- John Foster"
quotes[463]="There exists no politician in India daring enough to attempt to explain to the masses that cows can be eaten.<br><br>- Indira Gandhi"
quotes[464]="We'll run this planet as we please, and if you don't like it, go back where we came from.<br><br>- P.J. O'Rourke"
quotes[465]="No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.<br><br>- Bertrand Russell"
quotes[466]="You can't take it with you. You never see a U-Haul following a hearse.<br><br>- Ellen Glasgow"
quotes[467]="Most people want security in this world, not liberty.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken"
quotes[468]="In a world where we are forced to conform to society, it is necessary to have personal chaos.<br><br>- Thomas Armstrong"
quotes[469]="Nature cares nothing for logic, our human logic: she has her own, which we do not recognize and do not acknowledge until we are crushed under its wheel.<br><br>- Ivan Turgenev"
quotes[470]="Why do we kill people who are killing people to show that killing people is wrong?<br><br>- Holly Near"
quotes[471]="Whenever I prepare for a journey I prepare as for death. Should I never return, all is in order. That is what life has taught me.<br><br>- Katherine Mansfield"
quotes[472]="The Internet is an elite organization; most of the population of the world has never even made a phone call.<br><br>- Noam Chomsky"
quotes[473]="I'm the one who has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.<br><br>- Jimi Hendrix"
quotes[474]="Most Americans aren't the sort of citizens the Founding Fathers expected; they are contented serfs. Far from being active critics of government, they assume that its might makes it right.<br><br>- Joseph Sobran"
quotes[475]="When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately... unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something.<br><br>- Dick Butkus"
quotes[476]="Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.<br><br>- George Carlin"
quotes[477]="It is not real work unless you would rather be doing something else.<br><br>- James M. Barrie"
quotes[478]="Most men now are not so much rushing to extremes as sliding to extremes; and even reaching the most violent extremes by being almost entirely passive.<br><br>- G.K. Chesterton"
quotes[479]="Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream.<br><br>- Malcolm Muggeridge"
quotes[480]="I loathe the expression 'what makes him tick.' It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solution, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm.<br><br>- James Thurber"
quotes[481]="Each nation has created a god, and the god has always resembled his creators. He hated and loved what they hated and loved, and he was invariably found on the side of those in power.<br><br>- Robert G. Ingersoll"
quotes[482]="Never let the people with all the guns and the people with all the money be the same people.<br><br>- P.J. O'Rourke"
quotes[483]="Some people march to a different drummer... and some people polka.<br><br>- anonymous"
quotes[484]="In this world it rains on the Just and the Unjust alike, but the Unjusts have the Justs' umbrellas.<br><br>- Lynn Alpern"
quotes[485]="I don't think for a moment that Americans are inherently more stupid or brain-dead than anyone else. It's just that they are routinely provided with conditions that spare them the need to think, so they have got out of the habit.<br><br>- Bill Bryson"
quotes[486]="Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same.<br><br>- Erica Jong"
quotes[487]="I've conquered that goddamn willpower of mine. Gimme a double scotch.<br><br>- Don Marquis"
quotes[488]="Most parents don't worry about a daughter until she fails to show up for breakfast. Then it is too late.<br><br>- Frank McKinney Hubbard"
quotes[489]="Americans used to roar like lions for liberty. Now we bleat like sheep for security.<br><br>- Norman Vincent Peale"
quotes[490]="Basketball develops individuality, initiative, and leadership. Now get out there and do exactly what I tell you to.<br><br>- Dick Vitale"
quotes[491]="You can see a lot by observing.<br><br>- Yogi Berra"
quotes[492]="A country's armed forces can no longer defend it; the most they can promise is the destruction of the attacker.<br><br>- Arthur C. Clarke"
quotes[493]="To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.<br><br>- Abraham Lincoln"
quotes[494]="Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.<br><br>- Rita Rudner"
quotes[495]="There are few burdens in life harder to bear than the irritation of a good example.<br><br>- J.J. Epstein"
quotes[496]="When somebody's muffler shop goes bankrupt, the government doesn't pay him $100,000 to not install mufflers.<br><br>- P.J. O'Rourke"
quotes[497]="My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.<br><br>- Errol Flynn"
quotes[498]="Marriage is give and take. You better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.<br><br>- Joey Adams"
quotes[499]="The reason it's called the American Dream is that you have to be asleep to believe in it.<br><br>- George Carlin"
quotes[500]="Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss, and fifty cents for your soul.<br><br>- Marilyn Monroe"
quotes[501]="Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.<br><br>- Rudyard Kipling"
quotes[502]="There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.<br><br>- James Thurber"
quotes[503]="Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.<br><br>- Publilius Syrus"
quotes[504]="It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.<br><br>- Michael Arlen"
quotes[505]="Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream.<br><br>- Mark Twain" 
quotes[506]="In politics you have no friends, only allies.<br><br>- John F. Kennedy"
quotes[507]="A waist is a terrible thing to mind.<br><br>- Jane Caminos"
quotes[508]="One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop.<br><br>- G. Weilacher"
quotes[509]="Opportunity's favorite disguise is trouble.<br><br>- Frank Tyger"
quotes[510]="Persecution is the first law of society because it is always easier to suppress criticism than to meet it.<br><br>- H.M. Jones"
quotes[511]="Look into any man's heart you please, and you will always find, in every one, at least one black spot which he has to keep concealed.<br><br>- Henrik Ibsen"
quotes[512]="Whether ours shall continue to be a government of laws and not of men is now for Congress and ultimately the American people to decide.<br><br>- Archibald Cox"
quotes[513]="If you should open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.<br><br>- Dave Barry"
quotes[514]="The sign said, 'Jesus is the answer.' Which is kinda weird, since my question was 'What the hell's this stuff on my sandwich?'<br><br>- Phil Bacon"
quotes[515]="Being kind is more important than being right.<br><br>- Andy Rooney"
quotes[516]="Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.<br><br>- Blaise Pascal"
quotes[517]="You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.<br><br>- Michael Pritchard"
quotes[518]="Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.<br><br>- W. Somerset Maugham"
quotes[519]="A silent majority and government by the people are incompatible.<br><br>- Tom Hayden"
quotes[520]="America is a place where Jewish merchants sell Zen love beads to agnostics for Christmas.<br><br>- John Burton Brimer"
quotes[521]="My personality is not split, it's shredded.<br><br>- Jack Paar"
quotes[522]="Men are only as loyal as their options.<br><br>- Bill Maher"
quotes[523]="People mistake their limitations for high standards.<br><br>- Jean Toomer"
quotes[524]="I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.<br><br>- George Burns"
quotes[525]="If we like them, they're freedom fighters... If we don't like them, they're terrorists. In the unlikely case we can't make up our minds, they're temporarily only guerrillas.<br><br>- Carl Sagan"
quotes[526]="Patriotism is a lively sense of collective responsibility. Nationalism is a silly cock crowing on its own dunghill.<br><br>- Richard Aldington"
quotes[527]="Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.<br><br>- Dennis Miller"
quotes[528]="History is little more than the register of the crimes, follies, and misfortunes of mankind.<br><br>- Edward Gibbon"
quotes[529]="A realist is a man who insists on making the same mistakes his grandfather did.<br><br>- Benjamin Disraeli"
quotes[530]="Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.<br><br>- Laurence J. Peter"
quotes[531]="Guess, if you can, and choose, if you dare.<br><br>- Pierre Corneille"
quotes[532]="Women are programmed to love completely, and men are programmed to spread it around.<br><br>- Beryl Bainbridge"
quotes[533]="When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have.<br><br>- E.W. Howe"
quotes[534]="No one can terrorize a whole nation, unless we are all his accomplices.<br><br>- Edward R. Murrow"
quotes[535]="It would seem that men always need some idiotic fiction in the name of which they can hate one another. Once it was religion. Now it is the State.<br><br>- Albert Einstein"
quotes[536]="You can get used to anything if you have to, even feeling perpetually guilty.<br><br>- Golda Meir"
quotes[537]="In the land of no taste, the man with bad taste is king.<br><br>- Richard Corliss"
quotes[538]="A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.<br><br>- Fran Lebowitz"
quotes[539]="Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, we have a two-party system.<br><br>- Bob Thaves"
quotes[540]="The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is 'lunch.'<br><br>- Michael Friedman"
quotes[541]="The only time some fellows are ever seen with their wives is after they've been indicted.<br><br>- Elbert Hubbard"
quotes[542]="If we desire respect for the law, we must first make the law respectable.<br><br>- Louis Brandeis"
quotes[543]="He who lives by the sword, should go out and get himself a really nice sword.<br><br>- Chas. E. Martin"
quotes[544]="There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.<br><br>- Dick Armey"
quotes[545]="Most Americans hold a generous opinion of their own morals, even while they remain acutely aware of others' failings.<br><br>- David Whitman"
quotes[546]="Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.<br><br>- Christopher Lasch"
quotes[547]="The problem is that the Good Lord didn't see fit to put oil and gas reserves where there are democratic governments.<br><br>- Richard Cheney"
quotes[548]="I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time.' So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.<br><br>- Steven Wright"
quotes[549]="My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.<br><br>- Orson Welles"
quotes[550]="A wedding is like a funeral except you get to smell your own flowers.<br><br>- Grace Hansen"
quotes[551]="The glory of great men should always be measured by the means they have used to acquire it.<br><br>- Francois de la Rochefoucauld"
quotes[552]="Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.<br><br>- Andy Rooney"
quotes[553]="When an unorganized mob runs amok, intimidates people and steals their possessions without regard for their property rights, it's called looting. When an organized mob runs amok, intimidates people and steals their possessions without regard for their property rights, it's called government.<br><br>- Garry Reed"
quotes[554]="Some things are better than sex, and some things are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.<br><br>- W.C. Fields"
quotes[555]="When fascism comes to this country, it won't be wearing jackboots; it'll be wearing sneakers with lights in them, and it'll have a smiley face and a Michael Jordan T-shirt on.<br><br>- Goerge Carlin"
quotes[556]="Marriage is like a feast where the appetizers are better than the main course and there is no dessert.<br><br>- Garrison Keillor"
quotes[557]="There's time enough, but none to spare.<br><br>- Charles W. Chesnutt"
quotes[558]="Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.<br><br>- Abraham Lincoln"
quotes[559]="The virtue of a man is not to be measured by what he does while his wife is watching.<br><br>- Francis Bacon"
quotes[560]="The wages of sin are death, but after taxes are taken out, it's just a tired feeling.<br><br>- Paula Poundstone"
quotes[561]="Man will occasionally stumble upon the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.<br><br>- Winston Churchill"
quotes[562]="I've never been hurt by anything I didn't say.<br><br>- Calvin Coolidge"
quotes[563]="I have such poor vision I can date anybody.<br><br>- Garry Shandling"
quotes[564]="I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.<br><br>- Woody Allen"
quotes[565]="To be seen, stand up; to be heard, speak up; to be appreciated, shut up.<br><br>- Chris Sansom"
quotes[566]="Personal appearance can be a handy arena in which to punish your spouse passive-aggressively by allowing your own appearance to deteriorate.<br><br>- Al Franken"
quotes[567]="Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.<br><br>- Larry Flynt"
quotes[568]="The problem with marriage is the woman wants the man to change, and the man wants the woman to stay the same.<br><br>- Leslie Spiller"
quotes[569]="If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.<br><br>- Woodrow Wilson"
quotes[570]="The chief value of going to college is that it's the only way to learn it really doesn't matter.<br><br>- Goerge Edwin Howes"
quotes[571]="I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it.<br><br>- Douglas Adams"
quotes[572]="To do evil that good may come of it is for bunglers in politics as well as morals.<br><br>- William Penn"
quotes[573]="A considerable number of persons are able to protect themselves against the outbreak of serious neurotic phenomena only through intense work.<br><br>- Karl Abraham"
quotes[574]="I've married a few people I shouldn't have, but haven't we all?<br><br>- Mamie van Doren"
quotes[575]="Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.<br><br>- Mae West"
quotes[576]="Life seems to be a choice between two wrong answers.<br><br>- Sharyn McCrumb"
quotes[577]="The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterward.<br><br>- Arthur Koestler"
quotes[578]="There's nothing that will change someone's moral outlook quicker than cash in large sums.<br><br>- Larry Flynt"
quotes[579]="The doctrine that the cure for the evils of democracy is more democracy is like saying the cure for crime is more crime.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken"
quotes[580]="The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.<br><br>- Larry Kersten, PhD"
quotes[581]="The ordinary man is an anarchist. He wants to do as he likes. He may want his neighbour to be governed, but he himself doesn’t want to be governed.<br><br>- George Bernard Shaw" 
quotes[582]="America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.<br><br>- Georges Clemenceau" 
quotes[583]="A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes.<br><br>- Doug Larson" 
quotes[584]="When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.<br><br>- George Bernard Shaw" 
quotes[585]="A promiscuous person is someone who is getting more sex than you are.<br><br>- Victor Lownes" 
quotes[586]="It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person to reconcile himself to the idea that after all God will not help him.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken" 
quotes[587]="Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.<br><br>- Quentin Crisp" 
quotes[588]="Equality may perhaps be a right, but no power on earth can ever turn it into a fact.<br><br>- Honore de Balzac" 
quotes[589]="If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live.<br><br>- Lin Yutang" 
quotes[590]="A prostitute said that for one hundred dollars, she'd do anything for me. I said, 'Paint my house.'<br><br>- Henny Youngman" 
quotes[591]="Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.<br><br>- Jerry Seinfeld" 
quotes[592]="There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves we feel no one else has a right to blame us.<br><br>- Oscar Wilde" 
quotes[593]="I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.<br><br>- Groucho Marx"
quotes[594]="Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.<br><br>- William Dean Howells"
quotes[595]="There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.<br><br>- Jack E. Leonard"
quotes[596]="America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top.<br><br>- Charlie King"
quotes[597]="I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.<br><br>- Groucho Marx"
quotes[598]="A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often.<br><br>- Oliver Herford"
quotes[599]="The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.<br><br>- Helen Rowland"
quotes[600]="I've always found paranoia to be a perfectly defensible position.<br><br>- Pat Conroy"
quotes[601]="As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.<br><br>- John Lennon"
quotes[602]="Airline Meals: Anything that's white is sweet. Anything that's brown is meat. Anything that's gray don't eat.<br><br>- Hermione Gingold"
quotes[603]="Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.<br><br>- Albert Camus"
quotes[604]="Government is not reason; it is not eloquence; it is force! Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.<br><br>- George Washington"
quotes[605]="Neutral men are the devil's allies.<br><br>- Edwin Hubbel Chapin"
quotes[606]="So far as I know, anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o'clock in the morning; and if it is, it will generally be repeated at a more reasonable hour for a larger and more wakeful audience.<br><br>- Moss Hart"
quotes[607]="There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism... The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities.<br><br>- Theodore Roosevelt"
quotes[608]="The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married.<br><br>- Cyril Connolly"
quotes[609]="Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.<br><br>- Christopher Marlowe"
quotes[610]="Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.<br><br>- Ogden Nash"
quotes[611]="A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.<br><br>- Winston Churchill"
quotes[612]="Only when a tree has fallen can you take a measure of it. It is the same with a man.<br><br>- Anne Morrow Lindbergh"
quotes[613]="Give me six lines written by the most honorable of men, and I will find an excuse in them to hang him.<br><br>- Armand-Jean du Plessis"
quotes[614]="Self-delusion is pulling in your stomach when you step on the scales.<br><br>- Paul Sweeney"
quotes[615]="Money is like manure. If you spread it around, it does a lot of good, but if you pile it up in one place, it stinks like hell.<br><br>- Clint Murchison"
quotes[616]="A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.<br><br>- John Steinbeck"
quotes[617]="Why resist temptation - there will always be more.<br><br>- Don Herold"
quotes[618]="Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.<br><br>- Susan Ertz"
quotes[619]="Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.<br><br>- Erma Bombeck"
quotes[620]="It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken"
quotes[621]="To be a celebrity in America is to be forgiven everything.<br><br>- Mary McGrory"
quotes[622]="There's no reality except the one contained within us. That is why so many people live such an unreal life. They take the images outside them for reality and never allow the world within to assert itself.<br><br>- Hermann Hesse"
quotes[623]="There is no such thing as justice - in or out of court.<br><br>- Clarence Darrow"
quotes[624]="The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.<br><br>- G.K. Chesterton"
quotes[625]="Patriotism is not a short and frenzied outburst of emotion but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.<br><br>- Adlai E. Stevenson, Jr."
quotes[626]="Free people, remember this: You may acquire liberty, but once lost, it is never regained.<br><br>- Jean Jacques Rousseau"
quotes[627]="Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.<br><br>- Jerry Seinfeld"
quotes[628]="If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?<br><br>- Vince Lombardi"
quotes[629]="A woman will sometimes forgive the man who tries to seduce her, but never the man who misses the opportunity when offered.<br><br>- Charles Tallyrand"
quotes[630]="When wealth is centralized the people are dispersed. When wealth is distributed the people are brought together.<br><br>- Confucius"
quotes[631]="History just burps, and we taste that raw-onion sandwich it swallowed centuries ago.<br><br>- Julian Barnes"
quotes[632]="In all life one should comfort the afflicted, but verily, also, one should afflict the comfortable, and especially when they are comfortably, contentedly, even happily wrong.<br><br>- John Kenneth Galbraith"
quotes[633]="A neurosis is a secret that you don't know you are keeping.<br><br>- kenneth Tynan"
quotes[634]="All knowledge, the totality of all questions and all answers is contained in the dog.<br><br>- Franz Kafka"
quotes[635]="The more control, the more that requires control. This is the road to chaos.<br><br>- Frank Herbert"
quotes[636]="Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development.<br><br>- Russell Baker"
quotes[637]="There's no problem so large it can't be solved by killing the user off, deleting their files, closing their account and reporting their real earnings to the IRS.<br><br>- Anke Bodzin"
quotes[638]="I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.<br><br>- Ian Fleming"
quotes[639]="Memory is a crazy woman who hoards colored rags and throws away food.<br><br>- Austin O'Malley"
quotes[640]="Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime.<br><br>- G. Gordon Liddy"
quotes[641]="And don't criticize what you can't understand.<br><br>- Bob Dylan"
quotes[642]="The weak have one weapon: the errors of those who think they are strong.<br><br>- George Bidault"
quotes[643]="When were the good and the brave ever in a majority?<br><br>- Henry David Thoreau"
quotes[644]="To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.<br><br>- William H. Walton"
quotes[645]="The way to find the real boss is to find out who hires the lawyers.<br><br>- Dave Weinbaum"
quotes[646]="As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists.<br><br>- Joan Gussow"
quotes[647]="If you ruin an appetite, there's another appetite coming right behind it.<br><br>- Jerry Seinfeld"
quotes[648]="We are dealing with the best-educated generation in history. But they've got a brain dressed up with nowhere to go.<br><br>- Timothy Leary"
quotes[649]="It's hard to argue with the government. Remember, they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women.<br><br>- Scott Adams"
quotes[650]="This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses.<br><br>- George W. Bush"
quotes[651]="Patience is something to admire in the driver behind you but scorn in the one ahead.<br><br>- Mac McCleary"
quotes[652]="Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.<br><br>- Oscar Wilde"
quotes[653]="I have as much authority as the Pope... I just don't have as many people who believe it.<br><br>- George Carlin"
quotes[654]="He may look like an idiot, and he may sound like an idiot, but don't let him fool you. He really is an idiot.<br><br>- Groucho Marx"
quotes[655]="It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.<br><br>- Ralph Waldo Emerson"
quotes[656]="Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?<br><br>- James Thurber"
quotes[657]="While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.<br><br>- Stephen Covey"
quotes[658]="And so you ask, 'What about the innocent bystanders?' But we are in a time of revolution. If you are a bystander, you are not innocent.<br><br>- Abbie Hoffman"
quotes[659]="The difference between the Spice Girls and a porno film is a porno film has better music.<br><br>- Phil Spector"
quotes[660]="Power corrupts, but lack of power corrupts absolutely.<br><br>- Adlai E. Stevenson, Jr."
quotes[661]="Creativity often consists of merely turning up what is already there. Did you know that right and left shoes were thought up only a little more than a century ago?<br><br>- Bernice Fitz-Gibbon"
quotes[662]="Men are teflon. Women are velcro.<br><br>- Mike Peters"
quotes[663]="The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic and a killer.<br><br>- D.H. Lawrence"
quotes[664]="When a fellow says it ain't the money but the principle of the thing, it's the money.<br><br>- Frank McKinney Hubbard"
quotes[665]="The hand that rocks the cradle usually is attached to someone who isn't getting enough sleep.<br><br>- J. Fiebig"
quotes[666]="Capitalism needs to function like a game of tug-of-war. Two opposing sides need to continually struggle for dominance, but at no time can either side be permitted to walk away with the rope.<br><br>- Pete Holiday"
quotes[667]="If you want to judge a man, take a look at his enemies.<br><br>- Harry Golden"
quotes[668]="I have passed some line someplace. I am beginning to repel people I'm trying to seduce.<br><br>- James L. Brooks"
quotes[669]="This isn't hell, but you can see it from here.<br><br>- James O'Barr"
quotes[670]="Those who trim themselves to suit everybody will soon whittle themselves away.<br><br>- Charles M. Schwab"
quotes[671]="My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.<br><br>- Spike Milligan"
quotes[672]="Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an inquest.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken"
quotes[673]="Express an opinion but send advice by freight.<br><br>- Charles C. Munn"
quotes[674]="Happy is he who causes scandal.<br><br>- Salvador Dali"
quotes[675]="There is a foolish corner in the brain of the wisest man.<br><br>- Aristotle"
quotes[676]="There's no dealing with a cat who knows you're awake.<br><br>- Brad Solomon"
quotes[677]="The wise man is astonished by anything.<br><br>- Andre Gide"
quotes[678]="Freedom rings where opinions clash.<br><br>- Adlai E. Stevenson, Jr."
quotes[679]="Throughout history it has been the inaction of those who could have acted, the indifference of those who should have known better, the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most, that has made it possible for evil to triumph.<br><br>- Haile Selassie"
quotes[680]="The weaker the intellect, the stronger the belief.<br><br>- James Dee Richardson"
quotes[681]="I would defend the liberty of consenting adult creationists to practice whatever intellectual perversions they like in the privacy of their own homes; but it is also necessary to protect the young and innocent.<br><br>- Arthur C. Clarke"
quotes[682]="When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.<br><br>- P.J. O'Rourke"
quotes[683]="Certainly there is something radically wrong with a system which enables a Henry Ford to posture magnificently as one who pays lavish wages, and then, when the pinch comes, to lay off men by tens of thousands and throw them on public charity.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken"
quotes[684]="A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold.<br><br>- Marlo Thomas"
quotes[685]="Vulgarity is the conduct of others.<br><br>- Oscar Wilde"
quotes[686]="Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.<br><br>- Daniel Boorstin"
quotes[687]="When you don't know where you're going, any gust of wind will take you there.<br><br>- George F. Will"
quotes[688]="When your conscience says law is immoral, don't follow it.<br><br>- Jack Kevorkian"
quotes[689]="Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.<br><br>- Erma Bombeck"
quotes[690]="The family is one of nature's masterpieces.<br><br>- George Santayana"
quotes[691]="Don't wait until all the problems are solved or all the bills are paid. You will wait forever. Eternity will come and go and you will still be waiting.<br><br>- Clyde Reid"
quotes[692]="We must never delude ourselves into thinking that physical power is a substitute for moral power, which is the truth sign of national greatness.<br><br>- Adlai E. Stevenson, Jr."
quotes[693]="Nobody ever forgets where he buried a hatchet.<br><br>- Frank McKinney Hubbard"
quotes[694]="I got enough hate to start my own religion.<br><br>- Tori Amos"
quotes[695]="The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters.<br><br>- Jean-Paul Kauffmann"
quotes[696]="I don't use drugs; my dreams are frightening enough.<br><br>- M.C. Escher"
quotes[697]="The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like and do what you'd rather not.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[698]="I can prove anything by statistics except the truth.<br><br>- George Canning"
quotes[699]="I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.<br><br>- Albert Einstein"
quotes[700]="People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.<br><br>- Garrison Keillor"
quotes[701]="It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.<br><br>- Jiddu Krishnamurti"
quotes[702]="All men can be criminals, if tempted; all men can be heroes, if inspired.<br><br>- G.K. Chesterton"
quotes[703]="It's a man's world, and you men can have it.<br><br>- Katherine Anne Porter"
quotes[704]="Nothing handles better than a rented car. You can go faster, turn corners sharper, and put the transmission into reverse while going forward at a higher rate of speed in a rented car than in any other kind.<br><br>- P.J. O'Rourke"
quotes[705]="No one in this world, as far as I know.... has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken"
quotes[706]="It is faith and not reason which impels men to action.<br><br>- Alexis Carrel"
quotes[707]="The last 29 days of the month are the hardest.<br><br>- Nikolai Tesla"
quotes[708]="The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.<br><br>- Henry David Thoreau"
quotes[709]="Many people, of course, use 'sentimentalism' as a term of abuse for other people's decent feelings, and 'realism' as a disguise for their own brutality.<br><br>- G.H. Hardy"
quotes[710]="Let there be joy in baseball again, like in the days when Babe Ruth chased an enemy sportswriter down the streets of Boston and ended up getting drunk with him on the waterfront and came back the next day munching on hotdogs and boomed home runs to the glory of God.<br><br>- Jack Kerouac"
quotes[711]="Unless there's some emotional tie, I'd rather play tennis.<br><br>- Bianca Jagger"
quotes[712]="My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.<br><br>- Albert Einstein"
quotes[713]="There is no such crime as a crime of thought; there are only crimes of action.<br><br>- Clarence Darrow"
quotes[714]="Every man's life lies within the present; for the past is spent and done with, and the future is uncertain.<br><br>- Marcus Aurelius"
quotes[715]="We Americans have no commission from God to police the world.<br><br>- Benjamin Harrison"
quotes[716]="It is only the supremely wise or the deeply ignorant who never change.<br><br>- Confucius"
quotes[717]="Being American is not a matter of birth. We must practice it every day, lest we become something else.<br><br>- Malcom Wallop"
quotes[718]="If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.<br><br>- George Orwell"
quotes[719]="Women spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever.<br><br>- Oscar Wilde"
quotes[720]="If two people love each other there can be no happy end to it.<br><br>- Ernest Hemingway"
quotes[721]="Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken"
quotes[722]="To be smart enough to get all that money you must be dull enough to want it.<br><br>- G.K. Chesterton"
quotes[723]="Until death, it is all life.<br><br>- Miguel Cervantes"
quotes[724]="When all is said and done, monotony may after all be the best condition for creation.<br><br>- Margaret Sackville"
quotes[725]="There's nothing written in the Bible... that says if you believe in me, you ain't going to have no troubles.<br><br>- Ray Charles"
quotes[726]="Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar.<br><br>- Bradley Millar"
quotes[727]="It's never too late to become what you might have been.<br><br>- George Eliot"
quotes[728]="History is a vast early-warning system.<br><br>- Norman Cousins"
quotes[729]="It is difficult to say who do you the most harm: enemies with the worst intentions or friends with the best.<br><br>- Edward Bulwer-Lytton"
quotes[730]="In relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.<br><br>- Steven Wright"
quotes[731]="No one is entitled to the truth.<br><br>- E. Howard Hunt"
quotes[732]="Singers come and go, but if you're a good actor, you can last a long time.<br><br>- Elvis Presley"
quotes[733]="When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.<br><br>- Edward Abbey"
quotes[734]="If you ever think you're too small to be effective, you've never been in bed with a mosquito.<br><br>- Wendy Lesko"
quotes[735]="The greatest danger in communication is the illusion it has been achieved.<br><br>- George Bernard Shaw"
quotes[736]="Some people are worried about the difference between right and wrong. I'm worried about the difference between wrong and fun.<br><br>- P.J. O'Rourke"
quotes[737]="A sheltered life can be a daring life as well. For all serious daring starts from within.<br><br>- Eudora Welty"
quotes[738]="Honor sinks where commerce long prevails.<br><br>- Oliver Cromwell"
quotes[739]="Speech is not free if it costs people their jobs.<br><br>- Henry A. Wallace"
quotes[740]="Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.<br><br>- Francis Bacon"
quotes[741]="If a person offends you and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures. Simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[742]="The entire economy of the Western world is built on things that cause cancer.<br><br>- Peter Carey"
quotes[743]="The strength of the Constitution lies entirely in the determination of each citizen to defend it. Only if every single citizen feels duty bound to do his share in this defense are his Constitutional rights secure.<br><br>- Albert Einstein"
quotes[744]="Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans.<br><br>- Fran Lebowitz"
quotes[745]="Experts say you should never hit your child in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?<br><br>- Roseanne Barr"
quotes[746]="A day without sunshine is like... night.<br><br>- Steve Martin"
quotes[747]="I saw the new Italian navy. Its boats have glass bottoms so they can see the old Italian navy.<br><br>- Peter Secchia"
quotes[748]="It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.<br><br>- Rod Serling"
quotes[749]="Spare the duct tape, spoil the job.<br><br>- Bill Pulliam"
quotes[750]="This is a government of the people, by the people and for the people no longer. It is a government of corporations, by corporations, and for corporations.<br><br>- Rutherford B. Hayes"
quotes[751]="Politics is the art of postponing decisions until they are no longer relevant.<br><br>- Henri Queuille"
quotes[752]="All pop music is about sex. Rock is about wanting to do it, jazz is about doing it, and country and western is about feeling guilty after you've done it.<br><br>- Robert Waldo Brunelle, Jr."
quotes[753]="Don't try to be different. Just be good. To be good is different enough.<br><br>- Arthur Freed"
quotes[754]="In the case of the American presidency it is the machine which drives the driver, and the driver is only required to make reassuring gestures of being in charge of the machine.<br><br>- Peter Ustinov"
quotes[755]="Money doesn't talk, it swears.<br><br>- Bob Dylan"
quotes[756]="The two leading recipes for success are building a better mousetrap and finding a bigger loophole.<br><br>- Edgar A. Schoaff"
quotes[757]="Take care of the people, and God Almighty will take care of Himself.<br><br>- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr."
quotes[758]="The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing.<br><br>- Oscar Wilde"
quotes[759]="Beyond talent lie all the usual words: discipline, love, luck - but, most of all, endurance.<br><br>- James Baldwin"
quotes[760]="If anything can survive the probe of humor, it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted.<br><br>- Eric Idle"
quotes[761]="We're all controlled neurotics.<br><br>- Harry Reasoner"
quotes[762]="A politician's willingness to listen to good advice rises in inverse proportion to how badly he thinks he is doing.<br><br>- Pat Caddell"
quotes[763]="The older I get, the more I admire and crave competence, just simple competence, in any field from adultery to zoology.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken"
quotes[764]="He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.<br><br>- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche"
quotes[765]="Most beautiful but dumb girls think they are smart and get away with it because other people, on the whole, aren't much smarter.<br><br>- Louise Brooks"
quotes[766]="The family is a good institution because it is uncongenial.<br><br>- G.K. Chesterton"
quotes[767]="The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.<br><br>- Doug Larson"
quotes[768]="Every man is entitled to be valued by his best moment.<br><br>- Ralph Waldo Emerson"
quotes[769]="When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.<br><br>- Abraham Lincoln"
quotes[770]="You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race.<br><br>- George Bernard Shaw"
quotes[771]="Babies don't need vacations, but I still see them at the beach.<br><br>- Steven Wright"
quotes[772]="Anybody who is not you, who is living with you, is a problem.<br><br>- Whoopi Goldberg"
quotes[773]="You can't have everything. Where would you put it?<br><br>- Steven Wright"
quotes[774]="Whatever America hopes to bring to pass in the world must first come to pass in the heart of America.<br><br>- Dwight D. Eisenhower"
quotes[775]="What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?<br><br>- Robert H. Schuller"
quotes[776]="If you see a bandwagon, it's too late.<br><br>- James Goldsmith"
quotes[777]="Kittens: self-propelled barbed wire in a dewy-eyed mohair sweater.<br><br>- Charlie Stross"
quotes[778]="Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess.<br><br>- Edna Woolman Chase"
quotes[779]="Darn it, everything I need in life is somewhere else.<br><br>- Diane Zimmerman"
quotes[780]="I would have made a good Pope.<br><br>- Richard Milhous Nixon"
quotes[781]="Ridicule is the best test of truth.<br><br>- Lord Shaftesbury"
quotes[782]="Violence is interesting. This is a great obstacle to world peace and also to more thoughtful television programming.<br><br>- P.J. O'Rourke"
quotes[783]="The greatest battles in life are fought in the quiet chambers of the soul.<br><br>- David O. McKay"
quotes[784]="Time marks us while we are marking time.<br><br>- Theodore Roethke"
quotes[785]="It's the priests who have demands, not the gods.<br><br>- Stanislaw Lec"
quotes[786]="Ah good taste! What a dreadful thing! Taste is the enemy of creativeness.<br><br>- Pablo Picasso"
quotes[787]="A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.<br><br>- John Barrymore"
quotes[788]="Whatever you would do, begin it. Boldness has courage, genius and magic in it.<br><br>- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe"
quotes[789]="Do not choose to be wrong for the sake of being different.<br><br>- Samuel Herbert"
quotes[790]="He makes no friend who never made a foe.<br><br>- Lord Alfred Tennyson"
quotes[791]="Experience is a comb life gives you after you lose your hair.<br><br>- Judith Stern"
quotes[792]="A friend is a man who has the same enemies you have.<br><br>- Stephen Leacock"
quotes[793]="Opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.<br><br>- Andy Rooney"
quotes[794]="He who is impatient waits twice.<br><br>- Mack McGinnis"
quotes[795]="All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope.<br><br>- Winston Churchill"
quotes[796]="Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable.<br><br>- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe"
quotes[797]="Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.<br><br>- Flannery O'Connor"
quotes[798]="I despise making the most of one's time; half the pleasures of life consist of the opportunities one has neglected.<br><br>- Oliver Wendell Holmes"
quotes[799]="Cooperation isn't the absence of conflict but a means of managing conflict.<br><br>- Deborah Tannen"
quotes[800]="The real risk is doing nothing.<br><br>- Denis Waitley"
quotes[801]="There are people who have an appetite for grief; pleasure is not strong enough and they crave pain. They have mithridatic stomachs which must be fed on poisoned bread, natures so doomed that no prosperity can sooth their ragged and dishevelled desolation.<br><br>- Ralph Waldo Emerson"
quotes[802]="A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.<br><br>- Edgar A. Shoaff"
quotes[803]="Life is one long process of getting tired.<br><br>- Samuel Butler"
quotes[804]="Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied by drink.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[805]="Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? Is it because we are not the person involved?<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[806]="I hate to be near the sea, and to hear it raging and roaring like a wild beast in its den. It puts me in mind of the everlasting efforts of the human mind, struggling to be free and ending just where it began.<br><br>- William Hazlitt"
quotes[807]="The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.<br><br>- G.K. Chesterton"
quotes[808]="Men hate to be misunderstood, and to be understood makes them furious.<br><br>- Edgar Saltus"
quotes[809]="I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.<br><br>- Voltaire"
quotes[810]="I see it all perfectly: there are two possibilities, one can either do this or do that. My honest opinion and friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it, you will regret both.<br><br>- Kierkegaard"
quotes[811]="Youth is a blunder, Manhood a struggle, Old Age a regret.<br><br>- Benjamin Disraeli"
quotes[812]="The enthusiastic, to those who are not, are always something of a trial.<br><br>- Alban Goodier"
quotes[813]="I never knew whether to pity or congratulate a man on coming to his senses.<br><br>- William Makepeace Thackeray"
quotes[814]="Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.<br><br>- Horace Walpole"
quotes[815]="How I wish that somewhere there existed an island for those who are wise and of good will.<br><br>- Albert Einstein"
quotes[816]="I think we risk becoming the best informed society that has ever died of ignorance.<br><br>- Reuben Blades"
quotes[817]="Our modern society is engaged in polishing and decorating the cage in which man is kept imprisoned.<br><br>- Swami Nirmalananda"
quotes[818]="What is the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?<br><br>- Henry David Thoreau"
quotes[819]="We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.<br><br>- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe"
quotes[820]="Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.<br><br>- Mary Ellen Kelly"
quotes[821]="Are right and wrong convertible terms, dependant upon popular opinion?<br><br>- William Lloyd Garrison"
quotes[822]="A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.<br><br>- Dwight D. Eisenhower"
quotes[823]="Pharmaceutical companies will soon rule the world if we keep letting them believe that we are a happy, functional society so long as all the women are on Prozac, all children on Ritalin, and all men on Viagra.<br><br>- Terri Guillemets"
quotes[824]="Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.<br><br>- Bill Vaughn"
quotes[825]="The danger of the past was that men became slaves. The danger of the future is that man may become robots.<br><br>- Erich Fromm"
quotes[826]="In these times you have to be an optimist to open your eyes when you awake in the morning.<br><br>- Carl Sandburg"
quotes[827]="Today the world changes so quickly that in growing up we take leave not just of youth but of the world we were young in.<br><br>- Peter Medawar"
quotes[828]="Those persons who are burning to display heroism may rest assured that the course of social evolution will offer them every opportunity.<br><br>- Havelock Ellis"
quotes[829]="It isn't so much that hard times are coming; the change observed is mostly soft times going.<br><br>- Groucho Marx"
quotes[830]="The world has achieved brilliance without conscience.<br><br>- Omar Bradley"
quotes[831]="We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.<br><br>- Alfred E. Newman"
quotes[832]="The thoughts of Plato and Machiavelli... don't seem quite enough armor for a world beset with splitting the atoms, urban guerrillas, nineteen varieties of psychotherapists, amplified guitars, napalm, computers, astronauts, and an atmosphere polluted simultaneously with auto exhaust and TV commercials.<br><br>- John Fischer"
quotes[833]="Nothing can be more readily disproved than the old saw, 'You can't keep a good man down.' Most human societies have been beautifully organized to keep good men down.<br><br>- John W. Gardner"
quotes[834]="The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.<br><br>- Paul Valery"
quotes[835]="When we think of the past, we forget the fools and remember the sage. We reverse the process for our own time.<br><br>- George Boas"
quotes[836]="I believe that one of the great problems for us as individuals is the depression and the tension resulting from existence in a world which is increasingly less pleasing to the eye.<br><br>- Lady Bird Johnson"
quotes[837]="One of the definitions of sanity is the ability to tell real from unreal. Soon we'll need a new definition.<br><br>- Alvin Toffler"
quotes[838]="The world is so dreadfully managed, one hardly knows to whom to complain.<br><br>- Ronald Firbank"
quotes[839]="Failure seems to be regarded as the one unpardonable crime, success as the all-redeeming virtue, the acquisition of wealth as the single worthy aim of life. The hair-raising revelations of skullduggery and grand-scale thievery merely incite others to surpass by yet bolder outrages and more corrupt combinations.<br><br>- Charles Francis Adams"
quotes[840]="The tragedy of it is that nobody sees the look of desperation on my face. Thousands and thousands of us, and we're passing one another without a look of recognition.<br><br>- Henry Miller"
quotes[841]="I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do now.<br><br>- Will Rogers"
quotes[842]="I don't believe medical discoveries are doing much to advance human life. As fast as we create ways to extend it we are inventing ways to shorten it.<br><br>- Christiaan Barnard"
quotes[843]="If living conditions don't stop improving in this country, we're going to run out of humble beginnings for our great men.<br><br>- Russell P. Askue"
quotes[844]="With each passing year, one has less to say, and knows better how to say it.<br><br>- Mignon McLaughlin"
quotes[845]="The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life.<br><br>- Theodore Roosevelt"
quotes[846]="There's a standard formula for success in the entertainment medium, and that is: 'Beat it to death if it succeeds.'<br><br>- Ernie Kovacs"
quotes[847]="Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.<br><br>- Russell Baker"
quotes[848]="I've been reading a lot lately about Indian captives. One woman who had been captured by the Indians and made a squaw was resentful when she was rescued because she'd found that there was a lot more work to do as the wife of a white man.<br><br>- Stephen Vincent Benet"
quotes[849]="The things that are wrong with the country today are the sum total of all the things that are wrong with us as individuals.<br><br>- Charles W. Tobey"
quotes[850]="The atom bombs are piling up in the factories, the police are prowling through the cities, the lies are streaming from the loudspeakers, but the earth is still going round the sun.<br><br>- George Orwell, Shooting an Elephant, 1950"
quotes[851]="The number of substitutes for fine and clean thinking the world provides positively gnaws at one's vitals.<br><br>- Harold J. Laski"
quotes[852]="The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.<br><br>- Marcus Aurelius"
quotes[853]="In spite of all our speeding it's still the style to be late.<br><br>- Kin Hubbard"
quotes[854]="Noise, crowding, pollution, and the sheer rush of our complex, modern society are rapidly becoming as oppressive to many individuals as the worst kind of political dictatorship.<br><br>- Thomas F. Eagleton"
quotes[855]="I am not quite sure what the advantage is in having a few more dollars to spend if the air is too dirty to breathe, the water too polluted to drink, the commuters are losing out in the struggle to get in and out of the city, the streets are filthy, and the schools so bad that the young perhaps wisely stay away, and the hoodlums roll citizens for some of the dollars they saved in the tax cut.<br><br>- John Kenneth Galbraith"
quotes[856]="Beggars should be abolished. It annoys one to give to them, and it annoys one not to give to them.<br><br>- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche"
quotes[857]="I believe... that security declines as security machinery expands.<br><br>- E.B. White"
quotes[858]="How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?<br><br>- Paul Sweeney"
quotes[859]="Society honors its living conformists and its dead troublemakers.<br><br>- Mignon McLaughlin"
quotes[860]="The human race's prospects of survival were considerably better when we were defenceless against tigers than they are today when we have become defenceless against ourselves.<br><br>- Arnold Toynbee"
quotes[861]="You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.<br><br>- Charles Kuralt"
quotes[862]="If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on the human face - forever.<br><br>- George Orwell"
quotes[863]="No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.<br><br>- Dave Barry"
quotes[864]="The means by which we live have outdistanced the ends for which we live. Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.<br><br>- Martin Luther King, Jr."
quotes[865]="Everything is for the eye these days - TV, Life, Look, the movies. Nothing is just for the mind. The next generation will have eyeballs as big as cantaloupes and no brain at all.<br><br>- Fred Allen"
quotes[866]="Our current obsession with creativity is the result of our continued striving for immortality in an era when most people no longer believe in an afterlife.<br><br>- Arianna Stassinopoulos"
quotes[867]="Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day.<br><br>- Bill Vaughan"
quotes[868]="If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all.<br><br>- Pearl S. Buck"
quotes[869]="We have a system that increasingly taxes work and subsidizes nonwork.<br><br>- Milton Friedman"
quotes[870]="There is more to life than increasing its speed.<br><br>- Mohandas K. Gandhi"
quotes[871]="Justice is the tolerable accommodation of the conflicting interests of society, and I don't believe there is any royal road to attain such accommodation concretely.<br><br>- Judge Learned Hand"
quotes[872]="When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.<br><br>- Norm Crosby"
quotes[873]="If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place.<br><br>- Lord Halifax"
quotes[874]="Hunger makes a thief of any man.<br><br>- Pearl S. Buck"
quotes[875]="Bad laws are the worst sort of tyranny.<br><br>- Edmund Burke"
quotes[876]="But how is this legal plunder to be identified? Quite simply. See if the law takes from some persons what belongs to them, and gives it to other persons to whom it does not belong. See if the law benefits one citizen at the expense of another by doing what the citizen himself cannot do without committing a crime.<br><br>- Frederic Bastiat"
quotes[877]="The more laws the more offenders.<br><br>- Thomas Fuller"
quotes[878]="Lawsuit: a machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.<br><br>- Ambrose Bierce"
quotes[879]="When there's a single thief, it's robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it's taxation.<br><br>- Vanya Cohen"
quotes[880]="I'm convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile.<br><br>- Tom Clark"
quotes[881]="We don't give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give 'em plenty of publicity.<br><br>- Will Rogers"
quotes[882]="Poverty is the mother of crime.<br><br>- Marcus Aurelius"
quotes[883]="Our government... teaches the whole people by its example. If the government becomes the lawbreaker, it breeds contempt for law; it invites every man to become a law unto himself; it invites anarchy.<br><br>- Justice Louis Dembitz Brandeis"
quotes[884]="The vices of the rich and great are mistaken for error; and those of the poor and lowly, for crimes.<br><br>- Lady Marguerite Blessington"
quotes[885]="Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate.<br><br>- Bertrand Russell"
quotes[886]="It is easier to commit murder than to justify it.<br><br>- Aemilius Papinianus"
quotes[887]="Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens.<br><br>- African Proverb"
quotes[888]="The more corrupt the republic, the more numerous the laws.<br><br>- Tacitus"
quotes[889]="A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.<br><br>- Howard Scott"
quotes[890]="Judges are but men, and are swayed like other men by vehement prejudices. This is corruption in reality, give it whatever other name you please.<br><br>- David Dudley Field"
quotes[891]="The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.<br><br>- Sigmund Freud"
quotes[892]="We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.<br><br>- Bryan White"
quotes[893]="I've made an odd discovery. Every time I talk to a savant I feel quite sure that happiness is no longer a possibility. Yet when I talk with my gardener, I'm convinced of the opposite.<br><br>- Bertrand Russell"
quotes[894]="Animals have these advantages over man:  they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.<br><br>- Voltaire"
quotes[895]="There are many humorous things in the world, among them the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[896]="Society attacks early, when the individual is helpless.<br><br>- B.F.Skinner"
quotes[897]="Our concern is not how to worship in the catacombs but how to remain human in the skyscrapers.<br><br>- Abraham Joshua Heschel"
quotes[898]="Good manners: the noise you don't make when you're eating soup.<br><br>- Bennett Cerf"
quotes[899]="If the Aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it.<br><br>- Stanley Garn"
quotes[900]="Man is the only creature that refuses to be what he is.<br><br>- Albert Camus"
quotes[901]="In nature a repulsive caterpillar turns into a lovely butterfly. But with humans it is the other way around: a lovely butterfly turns into a repulsive caterpillar.<br><br>- Anton Chekhov"
quotes[902]="It would indeed be a tragedy if the history of the human race proved to be nothing more than the story of an ape playing with a box of matches on a petrol dump.<br><br>- David Ormsby Gore"
quotes[903]="Man is a strange animal, he doesn't like to read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it.<br><br>- Adlai Stevenson"
quotes[904]="Man uses his intelligence less in the care of his own species than he does in his care of anything else he owns or governs.<br><br>- Abraham Meyerson"
quotes[905]="Why should man expect his prayer for mercy to be heard by What is above him when he shows no mercy to what is under him?<br><br>- Pierre Troubetzkoy"
quotes[906]="The small percentage of dogs that bite people is monumental proof that the dog is the most benign, forgiving creature on earth.<br><br>- W.R. Koehler"
quotes[907]="Nature is neutral. Man has wrested from nature the power to make the world a desert or to make the deserts bloom. There is no evil in the atom; only in men's souls.<br><br>- Adlai Stevenson"
quotes[908]="Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[909]="It is the nature of mortals to kick a fallen man.<br><br>- Aeschylus"
quotes[910]="So there he is at last. Man on the moon. The poor magnificent bungler! He can't even get to the office without undergoing the agonies of the damned, but give him a little metal, a few chemicals, some wire and twenty or thirty billion dollars and vroom! there he is, up on a rock a quarter of a million miles up in the sky.<br><br>- Russell Baker"
quotes[911]="Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us. We are not the only experiment.<br><br>- R. Buckminister Fuller"
quotes[912]="Dollars and guns are no substitutes for brains and willpower.<br><br>- Dwight D. Eisenhower"
quotes[913]="What does an actor know about politics?<br><br>- Ronald Reagan"
quotes[914]="Compulsion in religion is distinguished peculiarly from compulsion in every other thing. I may grow rich by an art I am compelled to follow; I may recover health by medicines I am compelled to take against my own judgment: but I cannot be saved by a worship I disbelieve and abhor.<br><br>- Thomas Jefferson"
quotes[915]="If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.<br><br>- George W. Bush"
quotes[916]="I hate life, I hate death and everything in between just doesn't interest me.<br><br>- Chris Rapier"
quotes[917]="I'm sorry. I'd agree with you if you were right.<br><br>- Robin Williams"
quotes[918]="It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[919]="Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.<br><br>- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche"
quotes[920]="A conservative government is an organized hypocrisy.<br><br>- Benjamin Disraeli"
quotes[921]="Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will.<br><br>- Jawaharlal Nehru"
quotes[922]="You don't know a woman until you've met her in court.<br><br>- Norman Mailer"
quotes[923]="We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves.<br><br>- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe"
quotes[924]="I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go.<br><br>- Abraham Lincoln"
quotes[925]="It's negative to think about blowing each other up. That's not a positive thought. That's a Cold War thought. That's a thought when people were enemies with each other.<br><br>- George W. Bush"
quotes[926]="It is the business of the future to be dangerous.<br><br>- Alfred North Whitehead"
quotes[927]="The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.<br><br>- Henry Kissinger"
quotes[928]="It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.<br><br>- Albert Einstein"
quotes[929]="Men are teflon. Women are velcro.<br><br>- Mike Peters"
quotes[930]="The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.<br><br>- Eleanor Roosevelt"
quotes[931]="If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.<br><br>- George S. Patton, Jr."
quotes[932]="The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.<br><br>- Sam Levenson"
quotes[933]="A liar in public life is a lot more dangerous than a full, paid up Communist, and I don't care who he is.<br><br>- Harry S. Truman"
quotes[934]="It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.<br><br>- Winston Churchill"
quotes[935]="If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken"
quotes[936]="When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe.<br><br>- Thomas Jefferson"
quotes[937]="What luck for rulers that men do not think.<br><br>- Adolf Hitler"
quotes[938]="If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?<br><br>- George Carlin"
quotes[939]="Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.<br><br>- Steven Wright"
quotes[940]="It takes a long time to become young.<br><br>- Pablo Picasso"
quotes[941]="It is the eyes of other people that ruin us. If all but myself were blind, I should want neither a fine house nor fine furniture.<br><br>- Benjamin Franklin"
quotes[942]="Nothing is eternal, alas, except eternity.<br><br>- Paul Forte"
quotes[943]="We have all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.<br><br>- R. Wilensky"
quotes[944]="She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.<br><br>- W.C. Fields"
quotes[945]="War is just one more big government program.<br><br>- Joseph Sobran"
quotes[946]="Say what you like about Genghis Khan, but when he was around, old ladies could walk the streets of Mongolia at night.<br><br>- Jo Brand"
quotes[947]="We must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy.<br><br>- George Bernard Shaw"
quotes[948]="I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged.<br><br>- Roger Jones"
quotes[949]="Between the grief and nothing, I will take grief.<br><br>- William Faulkner"
quotes[950]="The only thing worse than an expert is someone who thinks he's an expert.<br><br>- Aly A. Colon"
quotes[951]="Whatever else you may be sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like other people.<br><br>- James Russell Lowell"
quotes[952]="Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.<br><br>- Erica Jong"
quotes[953]="We all know that people with very meager talents can become household names by appearing on television.<br><br>- Noel Edmonds"
quotes[954]="When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.<br><br>- Victor Borge"
quotes[955]="One should never generalize.<br><br>- William Safire"
quotes[956]="Permanent crisis justifies permanent control of everybody and everything by the agencies of central government.<br><br>- Aldous Huxley"
quotes[957]="In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from.<br><br>- Peter Ustinov"
quotes[958]="The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook.<br><br>- Julia Child"
quotes[959]="Sometimes it is more important to discover what one cannot do, than what one can do.<br><br>- Lin Yutang"
quotes[960]="Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.<br><br>- Jonathan Winters"
quotes[961]="I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being the President. Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don't feel like I owe anybody an explanation.<br><br>- George W. Bush"
quotes[962]="I reject the cynical view that politics is inevitably, or even usually, a dirty business.<br><br>- Richard M. Nixon"
quotes[963]="The way I look at life - we're all on the Hindenberg, so there's no use in arguing over the window seat.<br><br>- Richard Jeni"
quotes[964]="One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.'<br><br>- Dan Quayle"
quotes[965]="You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.<br><br>- Alan King"
quotes[966]="Vanity is the result of a delusion that someone is paying attention.<br><br>- Paul Sweeney"
quotes[967]="Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest.<br><br>- Neil Kinnock"
quotes[968]="In politics you must always keep running with the pack. The moment that you falter and they sense that you are injured, the rest will turn on you like wolves.<br><br>- R.A. Butler"
quotes[969]="By our readiness to allow arms to be purchased at will and fired at whim, we have created an atmosphere in which violence and hatred have become popular pastimes.<br><br>- Rev. Martin Luther King"
quotes[970]="America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy.<br><br>- John Updike"
quotes[971]="The true test of character is not how much we know how to do, but how we behave when we don't know what to do.<br><br>- John Holt"
quotes[972]="I've never been poor, only broke. Being poor is a frame of mind. Being broke is a temporary situation.<br><br>- Mike Todd"
quotes[973]="The difference between the Spice Girls and a porno film is a porno film has better music.<br><br>- Phil Spector"
quotes[974]="Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken"
quotes[975]="There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is something no married man knows anything about.<br><br>- Oscar Wilde"
quotes[976]="If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.<br><br>- Noam Chomsky"
quotes[977]="Marriage has teeth, and him bite very hot.<br><br>- Jamaican Proverb"
quotes[978]="Love your country, but never trust its government.<br><br>- Robert A. Heinlein"
quotes[979]="In any great organization it is far, far safer to be wrong with the majority than to be right alone.<br><br>- John Kenneth Galbraith"
quotes[980]="The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.<br><br>- Robert Lynd"
quotes[981]="Christian fundamentalism is the doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe-spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life.<br><br>- Andrew Lias"
quotes[982]="God made life simple. It is man who complicates it.<br><br>- Charles A. Lindbergh"
quotes[983]="Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for your face.<br><br>- Anita Wise"
quotes[984]="When 25 percent of the population believe the President should be impeached and 51 percent of the population believe in UFOs, you may or may not need a new President, but you definitely need a new population.<br><br>- Harry Reasoner"
quotes[985]="When you are down and out, something always turns up - and it is usually the noses of your friends.<br><br>- Orson Welles"
quotes[986]="You've gotta be original, because if you're like someone else, what do they need you for?<br><br>- Bernadette Peters"
quotes[987]="The husband who doesn't tell his wife everything probably reasons that what she doesn't know won't hurt him.<br><br>- Leo J. Burke"
quotes[988]="Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live in the real world.<br><br>- Mary Shafer"
quotes[989]="To befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion.<br><br>- Mohandas K. Gandhi"
quotes[990]="Character is much easier kept than recovered.<br><br>- Thomas Paine"
quotes[991]="The more you read and observe about this politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.<br><br>- Will Rogers"
quotes[992]="Reading is the basics for all learning.<br><br>- George W. Bush"
quotes[993]="We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.<br><br>- Buck Henry"
quotes[994]="A beard covers a multitude of chins.<br><br>- Graham Weeks"
quotes[995]="Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction.<br><br>- E.F. Schumacher"
quotes[996]="Working in television is like making love to a gorilla. You don't stop when you want to stop; you stop when the gorilla wants to stop.<br><br>- David Janssen"
quotes[997]="One of the greatest attractions of patriotism - it fulfills our worst wishes. In the person of our nation we are able, vicariously, to bully and cheat. Bully and cheat, what's more, with a feeling that we are profoundly virtuous.<br><br>- Aldous Huxley"
quotes[998]="I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.<br><br>- George Carlin"
quotes[999]="Government is like junior high. Your status depends upon whom you're able to persecute.<br><br>- Jonathan Kellerman"
quotes[1000]="We don't understand life any better at forty than at twenty, but we know it and admit it.<br><br>- Jules Renard"
quotes[1001]="You aren't wealthy until you have something money can't buy.<br><br>- Garth Brooks"
quotes[1002]="Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.<br><br>- Henry Kissinger"
quotes[1003]="If we ever pass out as a great nation we ought to put on our tombstone, 'America died from a delusion that she had moral leadership.'<br><br>- Will Rogers"
quotes[1004]="I have to work. It costs a lot of money to support a Senator.<br><br>- Bill Clinton"
quotes[1005]="The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.<br><br>- William Shakespeare"
quotes[1006]="Violence seldom accomplishes permanent and desired results. Herein lies the futility of war.<br><br>- A. William Randolph"
quotes[1007]="Don't be afraid to take a big step when one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small steps.<br><br>- David Lloyd George"
quotes[1008]="I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the U.S. Tax Code, you'd find at least one sex scene.<br><br>- Dave Barry"
quotes[1009]="The American people, taking one with another, constitute the most timorous, sniveling, poltroonish, ignominious mob of serfs and goose steppers ever gathered under on flag in Christendom since the end of the Middle Ages.<br><br>- H.L. Mencken"
quotes[1010]="Education has failed in a very serious way to convey the most important lesson science can teach: skepticism.<br><br>- David Suzuki"
quotes[1011]="Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.<br><br>- Woody Allen"
quotes[1012]="We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations, their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there's not this kind of federal- federal cufflink.<br><br>- George W. Bush"
quotes[1013]="Before seeking revenge, first dig two graves.<br><br>- Chinese proverb"
quotes[1014]="What is the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?<br><br>- Henry David Thoreau"
quotes[1015]="The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're playing by somebody else's rules, while quietly playing by your own.<br><br>- Michael Korda"
quotes[1016]="Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud.<br><br>- Hermann Hesse"
quotes[1017]="I fear that the machines are several centuries ahead of the morals.<br><br>- Harry S. Truman"
quotes[1018]="The true danger is when liberty is nibbled away, for expedients, and by parts.<br><br>- Edmond Burke"
quotes[1019]="Every man has three characters: that which he exhibits, that which he has, and that which he thinks he has.<br><br>- Alphonse Karr"
quotes[1020]="Reforms come from the bottom. No man with four aces requests a new deal.<br><br>- Frank Baer"
quotes[1021]="You may not be able to change the world, but at least you can embarrass the guilty.<br><br>- Jessica Mitford"
quotes[1022]="There is never enough time, unless you're serving it.<br><br>- Malcolm S. Forbes"
quotes[1023]="A true gentleman is at a disadvantage in dealing with women. Women are realists, and their tactics are realistic, so no man should be a gentleman where women are concerned unless the women are very, very old or very, very young. Women admire gentlemen, and sleep with cads.<br><br>- Louis L'Amour"
quotes[1024]="One should never generalize.<br><br>- William Safire"
quotes[1025]="The bigger a man's head gets, the easier it is to fill his shoes.<br><br>- Arthur Mohler"
quotes[1026]="Voyages are accomplished inwardly, and the most hazardous ones, needless to say, are made without moving from the spot.<br><br>- Henry Miller"
quotes[1027]="No one can terrorize a whole nation, unless we are all his accomplices.<br><br>- Edward R. Murrow"
quotes[1028]="The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it. Ignorance may deride it. But in the end, there it is.<br><br>- Winston Churchill"
quotes[1029]="What torments of grief you endured, from evils that never arrived.<br><br>- Ralph Waldo Emerson"
quotes[1030]="Death is a debt we all must pay.<br><br>- Euripides"
quotes[1031]="You can't convince a believer of anything; for their belief is not based on evidence; it's based on a deep seated need to believe.<br><br>- Carl Sagan"
quotes[1032]="Genetics loads the gun, but environment pulls the trigger.<br><br>- Judith Stern"
quotes[1033]="Old people like to give good advice, as solace for no longer being able to provide bad examples.<br><br>- Francois de la Rochefoucauld"
quotes[1034]="There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.<br><br>- George W. Bush"
quotes[1035]="I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's.<br><br>- William Blake"
quotes[1036]="No one becomes forty without incredulity and a sense of outrage.<br><br>- Clifford Bax"
quotes[1037]="You teach your daughters the diameters of the planets, and wonder what you have done that they do not delight in your company.<br><br>- Samuel Johnson"
quotes[1038]="War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today.<br><br>- John F. Kennedy"
quotes[1039]="Politicians are the same the world over. They promise to build a bridge where there is no river.<br><br>- Nikita Kruschev"
quotes[1040]="It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world.<br><br>- Thomas Jefferson"
quotes[1041]="I bequeath all my property to my wife on the condition that she remarry immediately. Then there will be at least one man to regret my death.<br><br>- Heinrich Heine"
quotes[1042]="There is a difference between imitating a good man and counterfeiting him.<br><br>- Benjamin Franklin"
quotes[1043]="A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him.<br><br>- David Brinkley"
quotes[1044]="Contempt is the weapon of the weak and a defense against one's own despised and unwanted feelings.<br><br>- Alice Miller"
quotes[1045]="Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.<br><br>- P.J. O'Rourke"
quotes[1046]="Suppose they gave a war and nobody came? Why, then the war would come to you.<br><br>- Bertolt Brecht"
quotes[1047]="She looks like something that would eat its young.<br><br>- Dorothy Parker"
quotes[1048]="The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it friendly. It is simply indifferent.<br><br>- John Haynes Holmes"
quotes[1049]="A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.<br><br>- Mark Twain"
quotes[1050]="Keep the other person's well-being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.<br><br>- Betty White"  

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